Guns (Number Five X Reader)

Family

"Oh Hotel Obsidian I missed you, you slutty old dame. Absorb her. Absorb her into your bosom. You know cause back in her heyday, she played host to world leaders. Roosevelt. Gandhi. Stalin. Gorbachev. Castro. King Olaf of Norway. One of the Kim Jongs. Tito. Dalai Lama. Elvis. And not one, but two Kardashians, allegedly."

I gasped and looked around the lobby. "This place! God. Its still going?"

"You know it?" Klaus asked.

"This place was the shit when I was younger. Used to come here all the time."

Klaus smiled and I knew he was gonna bring that up later. I smiled back. Allison rolled her eyes and walked off.

"Where you going?" Klaus asked, watching her leave.

"I gotta make a call." She said.

"Nowadays she's just a flophouse, a party house. For those of us not looking to be judged by society's rules and norms." Klaus continued.

"Some things never change," I muttered, still looking around.

"You mean a place to hide?" Luther said.

"Exactly. It's perfect. And the best part of it is, she's gonna look after us. No questions asked." Klaus waved us forward and walked over to the front desk.

He rang the bell and my mouth fell open, it was the same receptionist from 1930. Klaus knew him too.

"Chet! Mon frère! It's so great to see you. I'd like my usual suite, por favour."

"I've never seen you before." Chet said.

"See? Told you, discreet." Klaus said to us.

"Please stop scaring my dog." Chet said to Luther and Deigo who were petting the pug sat on the desk. They both backed away.

"We need some rooms please." Viktor said.

"Super. And, how will we be paying today?" Chet asked, putting the sign on the desk. Cash up front.

"Ah,"

"Oh,"

"Shit."

"Okay. Empty your pockets." Luther said.

"I've been living homeless for the past month," I said, digging through my pockets. "So,"

Klaus had an abnormal amount of condoms. Viktor had sweets. Five had fuck all. I, despite being homeless until a few days ago, was the only one with actual money. $1.25, to be exact. Deigo shamelessly presented a knife. Luther had a hair net.

"Why do you have a hair net?" I asked.

"Why do I have a hair net?" He thought for a second, put the hair net away, and took off his watch. He presented it to Chet. "Alright. What dose this get us?"

Chet took it and looked at it. He picked up a small magnifying glass and examined it more closely. He walked away, put the watch down and grabbed two keys. He walked back over and put the on the counter.

"Two rooms. Mazel Tov."

Klaus picked up one key and Allison grabbed the other.

"Well, let's Brandy Bunch this bitch." She jingled the keys and walked away.

"I don't know what that means." I said, going after her.

"Uh, meet back at the bar in two hours so we can make a plan." Five said as we headed for the elevator.

Deigo ran to the front of the group. "I have a plan. We attack the Sparrows. We take back our house. And then we punch Dad a bit till he admits that we're better. And he loves us more! Boom! Done!"