Guns (Number Five X Reader)

A Truce

6th April, 2019

When I woke up I barely remembered the night before. But I remembered Five giving up on all life and got pissed at him all over again. I had a shower, got dressed, and went on an Umbrella hunt. I found all my least favourites in a suite on the top floor: Deigo, Lila and fucking Five.

"Just check the chimney alright!?" Deigo was yelling.

"What we doin'? Lookin' for Christmas presents?" I asked as leaned against the far wall.

"Stanley's been Kugeled." Lila said.

"Damn. Shame. He seemed nice." I drank.

"Are you drinking whisky first thing in the morning?!" Deigo yelled at me from the bed.

"Look, Chico Cuchillo, I'm hungover and couldn't find a coffee machine. I'm improvising." I shrugged and put my cigarette back in my mouth.

"See you're in good condition to try save the world." Five said over his shoulder to me. He was standing facing the wall opposite the door. I noticed blood and what looked like a bullet hole in it.

I glared at him before looking back at Lila and Deigo.

"Look we need to accept that Stanley is gone!" Lila yelled. "He's been Kugelblitzed!"

"And who's fault is that?" Deigo snapped, approaching her and coming into my view. "You're the one that brought him here."

"Congratulations! You're both mildly terrible parents." Five said. He pointed at the wall behind him. "Can we focus? Come on. How did this thing open before?"

"I don't know it was already kinda open." Deigo said, walking across the room.

"Already kinda open." Five repeated. "You know Deigo you should have been an engineer. It's a lost opportunity."

"Sorry, what's open?" I asked.

"Why'd you wanna go back in there anyway? It's just sushi and death."

"What?!" I asked loudly.

"When we met future me in the Commission bunker I warmed myself about Oblivion." Five said.

"Like ya dad's weird magic thing?" I said.

"And like the hotel on the other side of this wall." Five said.

"Back up. What?" I asked.

"What do you mean Dad's weird magic thing?" Deigo asked, now on the floor looking under the sofa.

"Pogo told us-" Five started.

"Wait, whoa whoa whoa." Deigo stood and walked over to Five. "Pogo's alive?"

"Different Pogo but yes."

"He's weird and a tattoo artist now." I said, I put my cigarette back in my mouth. "Think he's a stoner too."

"Can I finish?" Five yelled. "The monkey said Dad spent years training the Sparrows for kind of super secret mission into..."

"Oblivion?" Lila guessed.

Five clapped his hands together. "So, I come back and find you two sentient STDs have actually been in there."

"I'm so confused." I shook my head.

"So don't sleep in when important shit's going on." Five said.

"So don't give up all hope on the  universe just cause some high-ass monkey told you to." I said.

"Stop." Deigo said loudly.

Five sighed. "Everything is leading to Oblivion. So we have to go in there."