[BL] I shouldn't have married the crown prince

Chapter 5- Cadmael's POV

No one ever helped me. My first memories were in the dukedom where my father sent me as a child. He didn't want people to know that I was his son and left me without ever asking how I was doing. (bitch) If he had asked me I would have told him that it was hell. No one was ice to a commoner. I was constantly bullied since the first day and slowly got used to the pain. No one ever came to help me and I soon realized that I didn't need anyone to help. When they attacked me, I simply looked at their faces, never wanting to forget them. I wanted to grow up and kill all of them. (fun)

When I was alone, I imagined myself as an adult and saw myself cutting open their bodies one after the other. I wanted them to suffer the worst of hells and to get my revenge. This was my only reason to live and the only thing that helped me get by the day. But one day, something changed. I had been beaten to a pulp as usual and hid behind a bush. I just couldn't take it anymore and for the first time in a long period started crying. I didn't care who but I wanted someone to help me. Anyone would be fine but I couldn't take it anymore. I would have done anything for that person and promised to give them my life. I just wanted one person to care.

The Duke had three sons. Two of them were always busy but one was the same age as me. He was the one who had thrown the first punch at me but lately I didn't see him and started to forget his face. It took me a few minutes to recognise him because I never saw that expression on his face before.

I had started to lose hope and just promised myself to never cry again when I heard someone. The third son was standing above me and was terribly shaking. He seemed terrified and asked me if I was alright. I froze. This was the first time someone had asked me if I was okay. I was so surprised that I completely forgot how to speak. Under the sun, this young boy looked like an angel and I never wanted him to leave.

However, when he got close I recognised him and got puzzled. Why would the third son react this way? Why did he seem so scared? He was the first one to bully me. Why was he taking me to the doctor? He cried so much when the doctor didn't want to help me that I couldn't take my eyes off him. This wasn't the third son of the Duke. It was impossible. This was a completely different person who was horribly scared of blood. The Duke's son didn't care about blood and hit me again and again but he almost fainted while looking at me. Looking at his eyes, I knew he was someone else.

When I got out of bed I immediately started looking for him but the new Eschyle seemed very fearful and didn't let me follow him. I thought that maybe I imagined things but he did stop to bully me and I even heard him defend me against the other boys.

"Cadmael is so cute. Why would you want to hurt him? Don't you think he deserves to be happy?"

Did I deserve to be happy? My heart suddenly felt really painful and I didn't know what this was. This new Eschyle was the first person to wish for my happiness. He was also the only one to find me cute and if he liked cute boys then I would be the cutest and most inoffensive in the world. He was my angel and I couldn't lose him ever.

As years passed, I tried to approach him slowly but Eschyle had huge walls against people. He didn't stay too long with anyone and liked being alone with his books. 11 years passed and he successfully avoided me day after day. Fortunately, everything changed in high school. Being in the same class, we had the same schedull and I started by following him from afar just as a kid. I waited for him to get accustomed to it and slowly started getting closer and closer to him.

I slept during class and had horrible grades so that he wouldn't feel threatened. I also pretended to be bad at sparring even if I was quite talented so he wouldn't be scared of me. Eschyle was very fearful but loved to help others and I had the opportunity to see it during our years together. I knew that if I wanted to get close to him, I had to show him how bad I needed his help. I needed to show him how weak I was and ask for his help. This was the way to imprison him. (mmmh the scary wolf)

I wanted to hold his bag when we went home. I wanted to hold his hand when he was reading. I wanted to lay my head on his tights when he was thinking. I didn't want him to smile at anyone else and didn't want him to let anyone touch him. I wanted to touch him all over and to kiss every inch of his body. I never wanted him to leave and felt very anxious because it seemed as if he could disappear any time soon. I had to be patient but all I wanted was him.

I forgot my good resolv for a second when I saw him hurt. Seeing him limp, I wanted to decapitate every person responsible but seeing him retreat in fear woke me up. Why was he so scared of me? This really hurt. I never did anything to him. Was it really because I followed him as a kid? To show him how inofensiv I was, I started crying. This worked and Eschyle let down his guard a little. I was so happy by the result that I pushed my luck and hugged him. He didn't push me away and my heart could not stop racing.

I was holding him. He was in my arms. He was so small that I could kidnap him without a problem. I could smell him and never wanted to leave again. If I had a home then it smelled like Eschyle. I was going to kill every person that would get between us.