[BL] I shouldn't have married the crown prince

Chapter 36

The rumors that I was scared of blood quickly spread across town. During the day everyone was whispering about me with their eyes on my back. I started to hide in the library again but fortunately wasn't alone in all of this. Cadmael didn't leave my side for a second. He followed me everywhere which was why people didn't dare say anything to me directly. At night he would accompany me to my room and then the next day he came for me to eat together.

"I'm okay, Cadmael. You don't have to walk me everywhere."

He shook his head without saying anything. I protested multiple times but it was all worth nothing. He didn't listen to me and followed me like a little dog.

Diana, Gilbert and Alphonse helped me a lot as well. Diana was full of comforting words and Gilbert was always ready to fight in my defense. Anytime he heard someone speak badly about me he would get into a fight with them. I felt really bad and wanted him to promise not to do this but he didn't listen at all. Andrew was worried about Gilbert getting into trouble and when the other person tried to defend themselves and dared to touch Gilbert, Andrew would kick them to the ground.

The worst arrived and soon word reached the Duke's ears. He called for me and I felt my blood grow cold. Cadmael wanted to accompany me but I stopped him:

"You can't see the Duke if he didn't call for you.

-I won't leave you alone.

-It's just the Duke. What could happen?"

Cadmael really didn't seem okay with this and it almost hurt me to push him away but I couldn't let him come with me.

"Stay here."

He seemed to struggle between listening to me or following me but he didn't have a choice because soon he got called by a maid. He looked back at me and asked:

"Wait for me okay? I'll at least take you to his door."

I nodded and Cadmael relaxed before following the maid. I took this opportunity and slipped away. When I opened the door he didn't seem happy. In fact, I never saw him this angry before. He told me to close the door and to approach. As soon as I arrived in front of him I felt something hard hit my sheek and I fell immediately:

"You had one thing to do! Make yourself small and you couldn't even do that! How could you bring shame to the family? I only asked you to make yourself worthy of the name but now there are rumors circulating about you being afraid of blood? Who is the idiot who spread this lie? You should have killed them on the spot. That would have silenced them for good."

I struggled to get up and kept my gaze on the ground.

"Who was it?

-I don't know."

Another slap but this time I was prepared and stayed standing.

"How could you not know? How retarded are you?

-I... Can't remember."

A third slap:

"I'll make you remember."

This time he hit me so hard that my lip split open. I could feel the blood on my chin but the worst was seeing it on his hand. I immediately recalled the fox and felt my face grow cold. Seeing my reaction, the Duke looked at his hand puzzled. He saw the blood and looked at me again:

"Don't tell me it's true."

He lifted his hand and brang his bloody hand closer to me. I backed away but he grabbed my neck and forced me to see it:

"Were the rumors true?"

I was shaking. It was too close. The Duke spread the blood on my face and it felt like I was bruning. I immediately threw up and frantically wiped the blood away. The Duke on the other hand seemed really jaded.

"How could you ne such a failure? Why couldn't you be more like your brothers? I knew from the start that you would be trouble but I didn't expect this to happen."

He thought for a while and sat behind his desk.

"You have to marry the young Carlet as soon as possible. We can't have them break the engagement because of this rumor. Leave, I have a lot to do."

I didn't know how I managed to leave but I got to the bathroom and vomited for a long time. Once I managed to get up I washed my face three times and finally felt somewhat clean. As soon as I got out I saw Cadmael. He seemed panicked and ran up to me looking me up and down. When he saw how pale I was as well as the state of my lip his expression darkened:

"What happened?"

I didn't have the strength to smile. I didn't even know what was going on anymore. I only managed to say what I always said:

"I'm fine."

Cadmael didn't seem to believe me but I didn't care. I felt empty. I didn't remember what happened in the next few minutes but only half an hour after our meeting, my marriage was announced for the following month. I got a fever so I didn't go to school for a few days. Cadmael wanted to stay with me but I forced him to go saying that I wouldn't speak to him again if he didn't. He took me in his arms despite me struggling not to get him sick:

"Give me a few days. Everything will be fine."

As soon as he said that I relaxed. How could I have such faith in him? I chose to wait a few days as Cadmael said. I didn't know what would happen after those few days but I held on. Despite me being sick, the Duke visited a few times. He seemed very displeased by my state and decided to train me not to be scared of blood anymore. I was lying on a bed so I couldn't do anything about it. He took my arm and a knife before making a deep wound and raising it to my face.

I sometimes fainted but sometimes couldn't. I didn't know what was going on anymore and didn't have anything to throw up. I didn't eat and couldn't sleep. I grew paler by the second and Cadmael seemed to lose his mind. When he was home he didn't let anyone approach me and rocked me to sleep. He fed me and read me stories. In my drunken state, these felt like the happiest moments.

Cadmael didn't know what the Duke was doing and he never saw my wounds. I was glad. I didn't want him to worry. He thought that my state was due to my illness and it was better that way.

One day the Duke didn't come to visit. I started to stress even more. Why wasn't he coming? Was he planning something worse? Was it finally over? Could I be relieved? What if it wasn't? I couldn't take it and woke up for the first time in what felt like years. I slowly walked out of my room and looked outside. Why were there so many maids running around? One of them saw me and dropped what she was carrying:

"Young master! You have to lay down. You haven't recovered yet."

She ran up to me and helped me back to my room.

"What happened?"

My voice was hoarse. Was this really my voice?

"The emperor got murdered."

I didn't understand at first.

"What?

-Last night a rebellion broke out and the king as well as half of his ministers got killed."

I had a hard time understanding the situation. Who killed them?

"It is said that the head of the rebellion was the hidden son of the emperor. He came back and said he was ready to take the throne. Some say that he looks like a bloodthirsty lion."

I frowned. The hidden son of the emperor? Wasn't this Cadmael? But he was supposed to take the throne only in a few years. Was that what he said when he told me to wait a few more days?