[BL] I shouldn't have married the crown prince

Chapter 32

When I woke up I had a huge headache and felt like I was going to throw up. I wanted to sit up but immediately felt something holding me back. When I looked at my belly I could see two more hands than usual and immediately recognised them. Who else could have enormous hands like these?

I tried to turn around and as expected I came face to face with Cadmael whose eyes were still closed. I didn't understand what he was doing in my bed and started thinking about last night. I remembered celebrating and drinking but soon it was completely blank. I had no idea what happened or why I was sleeping in Cadmael's arms.

I was thinking about it really hard and didn't realize Cadmael had woken up. What made me finally look up was Cadmael pulling me closer to him. He smiled before muttering in a sleepy voice:

"Sleep some more."

But I was wide awake and continued fidgeting. Cadmael signed before opening his sleepy eyes:

"Does your head hurt? I prepared some medicine."

He got up and came back with a glass that he handed me. I took it, still puzzled.

"What happened last night? Did I drink too much?"

Cadmael raised his brows.

"You don't remember?

-No... I'm sorry. I hope I wasn't an inconvenience."

Cadmael kneeled on the bed before bending towards me:

"You don't remember crying for me to hug you?"

I immediately flushed:

"What?"

Cadmael continued getting closer to me:

"You cried so much that I couldn't leave until you fell asleep. I had to cuddle you and tell you multiple stories all ending with happy marriages."

I didn't know where to hide and my mouth was wide open in shock.

"I'm sorry..."

Cadmael continued approaching and I tried to flee in vain which widened his smile:

"What? You don't want cuddles anymore?"

I pushed Cadmael's chest my head fixated on the bed and my ears burning hot:

"I'm so sorry. This won't happen ever again. I never drank so much and I didn't know I would act this way."

Cadmael grabbed my wrist.

"Why? I liked you begging me to hug you."

I thought I was going to cry in embarrassment:

"Stop!"

He let go of my hand and finally stopped teasing me before handing me another glass of water:

"You should drink some more to wash your stomach."

Our dinner marked the beginning of summer vacation and I didn't have a lot of time to see the others. As every year, the Duke took his sons to their vacation house in the south and we did nothing interesting there except attend small events. I could read all day long which was all I could ask for; however not seeing my friends felt lonelier than I would have thought.

Diana wrote me letters every week and I was happy to hear about her vacation spent helping children in an orphanage. Gilbert didn't write to me but I heard from Diana that Andrew took him somewhere nice. Alphonse sent me one letter saying that he spent his vacation sparring with his father which sounded really hard. Finally, Cadmael sent me his reactions to books I recommended to him almost every day. The Duke never took Cadmael with us on vacation so I didn't see him for two months. I had to admit that I really missed him as well as all the others.

Until now I didn't have any complaints about vacation. I read all day long and didn't see the day pass. Now things were a bit different. I still read all day but now these days seem long and boring. How could I concentrate on my nook without Cadmael by my side? I had no one to tell how much I liked this particular book. I wrote them and sent them to Cadmael but not seeing his reaction while reading them felt empty. I really wanted to drink tea with Diana and talk about everything with Gilbert. I even missed Alphonse and wanted to talk with him about anything.

I didn't talk with my family. The only moment we saw each other was during meals. Either there was a dead silence and I hurried back to my room or my father complimented my two brothers and I was ignored. I prefer the latter feeling more peaceful. On the days when I couldn't take the boredom anymore I went riding in the forest. The feeling of freedom immediately made me smile but I soon remembered Cadmael and started to miss him again. How could I be so hung up on that child? I lived my life perfectly before being friends with him. So why was it that now I wanted to see him? I had to get it together. And so I did and concentrated on reading again.

Vacation ended like this and soon we headed home. I couldn't sleep on the way back excited at the thought of seeing him. When I realized, I immediately felt ashamed and forced myself to calm down. I finally fell asleep and only woke up when the carriage stopped. My family came out without looking at me and entered the manor without a word. I was the last one to come out of the carriage and when I looked up I saw a dark shadow.

It took me a few seconds to recognize him. I didn't understand how it was possible but Cadmael grew by a head while I was away. I did grow myself but Cadmael became much more muscular and drawn. He could cut paper with his jaw and his veins seemed to be made of steel. He wasn't a child at all. He looked exactly like an emperor should. Next to him I was only a little porcelain vase and I couldn't hold back my surprise. I was really happy to see him and ran up to him but the closer I came the bigger he seemed:

"How tall are you?"

Cadmael raised his brows, surprised by my sudden question. He raised his eyes trying to look at his head and shrugged:

"I guess I grew a bit.

-A bit? You are huge!"

Cadmael burst out laughing:

"You have changed as well.

-Not that much. I almost didn't recognize you.

-Are you disappointed?"

I shook my head. It seemed like he reached his final evolution. Just like a pokemon. But how could I think of him as a child now? He wasn't small to begin with but he could destroy the earth by a sweep of the hand.

"You always look good."

Cadmael still had the same smile as before.

"Really? Do you think I'm handsome?

-Of course you are. Has no one ever told you?

-No one."

I raised my eyebrows. How could this be? Cadmael was the protagonist. He was the most beautiful man in the whole book. How could no one see that? Did I make another mistake by chance? Now that he became an adulte did I have to boost his self esteem and help him date? I already managed to make him fall in love with Diana. It was too bad that they couldn't meet during break but I was going to help him!

Cadmael suddenly signed:

"I feel that you are thinking of something but I'm sure you're mistaken."

I frowned:

"I wasn't thinking about anything.

-Right."

He bent down as if talking to a child:

"All I need is for you to tell me how handsome I am. Maybe if I hear it a lot I'll believe it.

-Okay! You are truly the most gorgeous man I've ever seen."

Cadmael suddenly straightened up his cheeks a little red.

"Thank you."

I smiled. He was really cute. How could this huge man be so shy when receiving a compliment? Did I give him too few compliments? I had to quickly raise his self esteem. He needed it as an emperor as well as in his dating life.