[BL] I shouldn't have married the crown prince

Chapter 78

Rubert got escorted out and seeing him leave made me feel very light. He was getting what he deserved and I wasn't the one making him suffer. This really felt like I could move on and this feeling was very nice. All I wanted now was to be next to the Emperor and to enjoy our wedding.

Cadmael continued carrying me around for the rest of the ceremony and once night came he carried me back to our room for our change of clothes. A coronation usually lasted for long hours and everyone advised Cadmael to hold the wedding another day but he wasn't listening. He wanted us married today even if it meant holding the wedding ceremony at night.

Therefore we quickly got back to our rooms and took a bath before Cadmael came up to me and dressed me in the second dress we chose. This time we would both be wearing white and gold and Cadmael dressed me more quickly than that morning. He seemed in a rush and excited and I could even feel his hands shaking. He suddenly let go of the button he was battling with and rested his head on my shoulder with a sight:

"I am so anxious..."

I started rubbing his hair with a frown:

"You are anxious?"

I had never expected him to be stressed about anything.

"Don't make fun of me."

I quickly shook my head:

"I wouldn't. But why would you be stressed?"

Cadmael pulled me closer to him before lightly kissing my neck. I didn't know if he was torturing me on purpose but I couldn't help shaking.

"Just a few minutes and you will finally be Eschyle Carnvil. You are the prettiest bride ever to have existed. And you are my bride."

As he was talking, he would stop every sentence to suck on the skin on my neck and I did my best not to make any weird noises. I couldn't even focus on what he was saying at this point and just closed my eyes.

"You are so pretty. You smell so good. Everyone will know that you are mine. This gorgeous bride is all mine."

Feeling his hands tracing down my back made me whisper:

"C-Cadmael?"

The latter finally woke up and sighed one last time against my neck before straightening up:

"I'm sorry. I got carried away."

We finished getting ready and as we walked out the room I could feel my heart give out. It was now. It was happening. I was marrying Cadmael. I suddenly understood why he had been so nervous and I thought I would puke.

Feeling my state, Cadmael lifted me up and carried me to the altar himself. At this point I would have been surprised if I had walked more than two minutes by myself. However when we reached the huge door, Cadmael put me down which was more surprising than him carrying me.

"Something is missing."

And he pulled out a transparent fabric from his pocket before putting it over my head.

"There. Perfect.

-Do I really need a veil? You have already seen me thousands of times before.

-Yes but I want to kiss you under the veil."

This made me blush and I was suddenly grateful for the veil even if I knew that it wasn't hiding that much. Cadmael lifted me again and he kicked the doors in with a huge grin. He looked like an ecstatic child and he almost ran to the altar while the orchestra was playing their heavily rehearsed piece.

I was so nervous and excited that I couldn't even remember most of the ceremony afterwards. I couldn't stop looking at Cadmael and wasn't listening to anything that was being said. Cadmael even had to call my name when we reached my vows and I jumped, my cheeks red. The whole Temple went silent and I suddenly realized how many people were staring at me. I suddenly wished that I could do my vows with Cadmael alone but it was too late to change it now and I forced myself to calm down:

"Cadmael, you chose me before I chose myself. You have been there for me for longer than I could have suspected and I always feel safe around you. If something bad happens to me I immediately look for you for support and if something good happens I rush to you to share it. You are the first person I think of in any situation and I know that you will always be there for me. You are my pillar and you gave meaning to my life. Before you I never tried living for myself. No one ever asked me what I wanted. But you gave me the choice and you made me realize that I deserved to be happy to. Thanks to you I know what I want in life and that is you. You are my only wish and my only hope. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you."

I had stared at my sheet the whole time, my hands shaking and when I looked up I noticed that Cadmael was crying. I immediately let go of my vows and wiped his tears away with my sleeves.

"Don't cry. I will cry too if you cry."

Cadmael grabbed my hands and pulled them towards his lips before kissing the insides of my wrists.

"Thank you, Eschyle... Thank you. Thank you. You can always count on me. Please don't ever doubt me. I will always be here for you.

-I know, I know."

I continued comforting him and Cadmael didn't let go of me even once he calmed down. He didn't have a sheet of paper prepared and he looked me straight in the eyes while holding my hands:

"I love you, Eschyle. I love your kindness, I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love how much you like lemons, I love how dense you are, I love how bad you like to study, I love that you taught me to spare, I love that you always go along my whims, I love that you love to read, I love all the times we spent together, I love all the notes you left in your book for me, I love the way you blush when you get flustered, I love when you stammer, I love everything... I thought that becoming your friend would be enough for me but I always want more and that scares me. I don't know if anything will ever be enough for me, Eschyle. I need all of you and if I didn't know that you would refuse, I would ask you to hold a wedding every day. I need you, Eschyle. I love you."

I always knew that Cadmael was the passionate type but I never realized how deep his love ran for me. I wasn't even sure that I grasped it completely. How lucky was I that the male lead loved me this way? I felt so touched that I felt the tears swell up too but I did my best to push them down. I didn't want to cry. Not here. Not now.

"You may kiss the Empress."

I thought that Cadmael would jump on me and not give me a second to breathe but surprisingly, he didn't move immediately. He stared at me for a few more seconds, as if taking the sight in, before slowly bending towards me. He let go of my hands and grabbed the bottom of the veil before slowly lifting it. He only lifted it above my lips and looked at them as if it was the first time he saw them. He then finally bent closer and kissed me with all the tenderness he was capable of.

The cheers disappeared behind the fireworks I felt in my stomach and I surrounded Cadmael's waist with my arms. I thought the kiss would be quick because we were in front of people but Cadmael didn't pull back. He only did so for a second to slide under the veil and deepen the kiss. He then lifted me in his arms, not letting go of my lips for a second and he carried me away while still kissing me.

Cadmael carried me out of the Temple and he pushed me against a tree, still holding me in his arms. His kiss felt different than usual and I really thought that he would eat me right then and there but at the last second he stopped. It was so sudden that I bent forward, my eyes still closed, ready for more. When I realized that we were done I couldn't help feeling disappointed. I knew that Cadmael was holding back because I told him I wasn't ready but things were different now. I felt completely comfortable around him and felt ready to do more than just kissing. But how could I tell him that? Just imagining it made me blush and I had no idea what to say.