[BL] I shouldn't have married the crown prince

Chapter 53

I was silent on the way back and Cadmael noticed:

"Is there something the matter?"

I looked at him a bit angry. But I couldn't talk in the middle of the streets. Therefore I only said:

"We have to talk."

Cadmael's eyes became really round:

"Now?

-No, at home."

And I continued walking. Cadmael followed me obediently, his head lowered like a little puppy. I didn't notice that he was shaking. The great emperor who killed half of his ministers without hesitation was now feeling really anxious and couldn't stop thinking about four words again and again.

When we arrived Cadmael was already dying of anticipation and he followed me without a word to my room. I locked the door and he couldn't take it anymore:

"I'm sorry, Eschyle.

-Why are you apologizing?

-I'm sure I did something bad and I don't even know what it is, which is worse. I'm so sorry."

He started crying and I immediately forgot that I was angry a second before. I shook my head. No! I needed to stay focused.

"Cadmael."

He jumped.

"You lied to me.

-I'm so sorry."

He had no idea what I was talking about but was apologizing without hesitation.

"You were acting really friendly when I was around but I saw how you behaved once I was gone.

-When?

-With your ministers before leaving. Diana told me you are like this every time I leave."

Cadmael seemed quite angry at Diana. Maybe I shouldn't have said her name. No, it wasn't the problem. The problem was he lied.

"Were you just pretending to be friendly because I asked?

-Yes."

I was a bit surprised by his honesty. I thought he would lie a bit more.

"I would never lie to you, Eschyle. You told me to be nice to them, so I was."

I cried. I didn't exactly know why. It was an all. I was terribly sleepy, I was stressed out and I was so sad and frustrated to see this kid behave this way.

"Was it an act with me too?"

Cadmael was panicking seeing my tears. He ran towards me and grabbed my shoulders:

"No! Never! You are the only one I am nice to, I already told you.

-Then what is it? Do you find me that unreliable? I told you to talk to me if you needed to. I never asked you to pretend. I told you to take it slowly and open up to others. I never wanted you to lie because of me...

-I don't want to open up to other people.

-But you can't be nice only to me.

-Why not?"

This time Cadmael seemed a bit angry as well.

"Why couldn't I? You are my only friend and the only person who was there for me. You mean so much more to me than anyone else.

-You can't rely on only one person for the rest of your life.

-I don't want to rely on you. I want to be there for you. I don't want to be there for anyone else.

-Why? Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong?"

Cadmael immediately softened and wiped my right cheek.

"You did nothing wrong. You were just perfect.

-But...

-I don't want to be nice to other people. I'll try to be respectful if it bothers you but that's all."

I slowly nodded. I couldn't force him to change. I could be there for him and help him open up to others slowly. Cadmael continued wiping my face really gently:

"Don't cry."

I tried to stop but tears kept flowing. They were flowing really slowly but they kept coming.

"I don't like seeing you sad."

Cadmael lowered his head to my level.

"However, I have to admit. You are gorgeous when you cry."

I immediately blushed and tried to flee. Cadmael noticed and frowned:

"Is there something else the matter? You continue acting strange.

-I'm not doing anything.

-You are trying to run away. You did the same at noon when you took the bread."

My jaw almost fell:

"That's because you..."

Cadmael raised his brows:

"Me?

-You keep doing weird things...

-Weird how?

-You keep feeding me or touching me. It's strange.

-But you didn't mind before.

-That's... True..."

Cadmael got even closer:

"What happened?

-I talked with Gilbert and..."

Cadmael seemed angry again.

"Anyway, it was drawn to my attention that despite you being very cold to others, you are too nice to me.

-I think it is just the right amount of nice. Even too little."

I shook my head.

"People don't usually feed their friends or carry them or hold their hand.

-Are you uncomfortable because of other people?

-Yes. Everyone is looking at us."

Why did I feel like I made a mistake? Cadmael's gaze darkened and he smiled:

"Then we just have to forbid them from looking."

My hair stood on end.

"You can't do that.

-I can, I'm the emperor."

I frowned trying to look like a parent scolding a child:

"Please don't do that.

-But then you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. You didn't say anything before people started looking.

-Just, don't do these things in public."

Cadmael smirked:

"Do you mean that I can if we are alone?

-Yes. But you can't fire anyone."

His shoulders suddenly sank. I knew he was thinking about something weird.

"You can only touch me when it is the two of us."

His smile widened:

"You can't take back your words."

I may have made another mistake.