earned it [h.s.]

33. (*)

Genevieve.

I nervously tapped my foot on the dark tiled floors of Lotus' backstage area.

I fluffed up my hair again, turning around a little to see all sides of myself in the golden lingerie. I saw the faint burns on my legs which were mostly healed up, as were my fingers. I painted my nails to cover some of the residue bruising underneath them and from a distance, I looked as good as new.

It had been two days since I gave Harry's check to Carrie. I hadn't seen her, and I hadn't seen him. Mrs. Hilton had called me a few times yet I had declined, needing some time for myself. I was surprised Ezra hadn't been in touch, which just meant she hadn't complained to him about it yet. Maybe she just realized I was angry for the way she hurt me last time.

Harry continued sporadically calling me too, and I answered his messages shortly, always claiming I had something to do. I blatantly lied and told him I was hanging out with friends even if we both knew I didn't have any.

What he didn't know was that I was across the hall in Derek's bed, hunting down the same feeling Harry gave me even if Derek could only provide me a little sliver of it. My orgasms were disappointing and after just desperately knocking on his door once, I chose my sex toys over him.

I was desperately looking for ways to feel something and felt shamed to admit that I was slightly hangover right now. I hoped Ezra wouldn't notice as he called me up to his office for a chat.

I wrapped the robe around myself and politely smiled at some of the other girls before making my way up the stairs towards his office. I felt a little nervous. Ezra and I had been off lately. Ever since I started spending time with Harry, I hadn't been here as much and I hadn't talked to him as often. He used to be my confidant when I wanted to complain about Blair, and he was the most important person in my life. I craved his respect, his praise, his admiring and proud eyes on me.

I lived for it.

Part of the reason I was ignoring him, was to lose that. I knew if he found out, he'd look at me with the same disappointment that I knew so well from the others. And part of the reason I was ignoring him was because I feared I'd spill something if we spent too much time together.

It did cause for a bit of a division between us two where we used to be really tight. I knew I was his favourite here, having stuck around for a long time and bringing in lots of money. Ezra cared for me and brought me where I was today, and here I was... lying to him and shutting him out.

"Sloane." He smiled widely when he saw me at the door of his office.

I forced a smile and stepped inside, "Hey. You wanted to see me?

"Yeah, yeah." He rushed, stepping away from his desk to approach me, holding my hands and squeezing gently, "Feels like it's been ages since I've seen you!"

Ezra knew I was a little unfamiliar to hugging so he settled on touching me like this. I smiled back at how gentle he was, and his care for me was so radiant that I felt at ease immediately. My chest tightened in guilt as to how I lied to him these days.

"Sit, sit. D'you want a drink?" He ushered me to sit on the couch and I did, crossing my legs modestly before shaking my head, "No, I'm fine. How've you been?"

"Good." He nodded, "Lotus has been doing good. Usually summers are a bit of a calmer moment for us, y'know. But it's been good so far. How about you? How's the Hilton household? Feels like you spend all your time with them now." He joked.

I brushed my hair behind my shoulder and chuckled, "I definitely don't."

"I crossed my legs over one another, causing the robe to open up a little and Ezra's eyes dropped, his mouth in a tight line when he saw the remaining burn on my thigh. He exhaled a breath, "How's that going?"