Never let her go

Chapter 13

Noah POV

“Are you okay?” I asked my brother.

We were in our hotel room, lying down on our beds. I was staring at the ceiling, trying to keep myself from thinking about her.

“No.” Theo sighed. “I’m terrified, Noah.”

I knew that he was. I was terrified as well. What if I wake up to find that this was all a dream? What if someone takes her away again? I don’t want to go through that pain again. I can’t go through that again.

“I keep remembering the morning dad told us she was gone.” Theo whispered.  “I’m so scared that something like that will happen again.”

I remember that morning like it was yesterday.

Theo and I woke up to screams coming from every corner of the house. I remember being so scared and confused. Theo got up from his bed and grabbed my hand, pulling me up and dragging me out of the room. Lucy wasn’t there, so we assumed she was with dad or one of our brothers. She had her own room, but she always ended up sleeping in our room, either with me or with Theo.

Security guards were running around the house, talking into their walkie-talkies. I was so scared and confused that I couldn’t understand a word of what they were saying. After wandering around for a while, Theo and I ran into Liam. His eyes were puffy and red. His jaw was clenched tight, and he looked so angry.

“What happened, Bubba?” I asked my older brother.

Liam didn’t answer me. He picked Theo and me up and walked into Dad’s home office.

Ezra was there, sitting in one of the chairs with his head in his hands. Dad was looking through the window, talking on the phone angrily.

Ezra looked up, and Liam gave him Theo to hold. Ezra wrapped his arms around Theo in a tight grip. Liam did the same with me, sitting down on the chair next to Ezra and Theo.

I was so scared. I looked at Theo, and he grabbed my hand. Our Lucy wasn’t there. Where was she?

Dad turned around, and his eyes softened when he saw us. He sat down on his chair and buried his face in his hands.

“Theo, Noah, I have some sad news.” he said after a few moments of silence.

I gripped Theo’s hand tighter. I needed him. He was my big brother. He was always very protective of Lucy and me. He would make the sad news go away. I knew that he would.

“Your mom left us.” dad said. “She won’t be coming back.”

Theo and I gasped. Mom is gone? Why? Why did she leave?

Looking back, we were never too upset about her leaving. She was never much of a mother. Our brothers and father were the ones who raised us and took care of us.

“That’s not all, boys.” dad continued. “She is gone, and she took Lucy with her.”

Theo’s angry scream and my cry of pain that happened after that will forever be carved into my brain.

“It will never happen again, Theo.” I said, pulling myself out of that painful memory. “We won’t let it happen.”

“What time is it?” Theo asked me, ignoring what I said.

I glanced at my watch. “2:35 am.”

“Four hours and 25 minutes.” Theo mumbled.

“We should sleep.” I said quietly.

“I can’t.” Theo mumbled angrily. “I keep having this feeling like something is wrong, Noah. I don’t know if that is because I’m afraid that she will disappear again or because something happened to her.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about. I had the same feeling. That tugging in my chest, screaming at me to find her and make sure she was okay, was maddening. I considered gluing her to my side, just so I could always know she was okay. I sometimes completely understood Theo’s possessiveness.

“I know, Theo.” I sighed quietly. “I have the same feeling. But I’m sure it is just because we are scared to lose her again.”

“Terrified, not scared.” Theo grunted.

I chuckled. Theo was always like that. He was protective of her from the moment we were born. At least, that’s what we have been told. I do remember him always making sure she was safe, always taking her hand when we were walking somewhere, always making sure she was okay. He did the same with me, just not all the time like with her. We did the same for him, of course. There was always that trait of possessiveness and protectiveness in him. It is just who he is, and I’m completely okay with it.

I’m so glad that Lucy seems to remember that about him and that she accepts it. She had not pushed him away or complained in the previous two days. She even does these little things she knows will calm him down.

I’m so happy about that. If she didn’t remember, she would be scared of him, and Theo would be heartbroken. He needs her right now, and I know that it will take some time for him to be able to let her go a little bit. It is the same for me right now. I just want to be with her, talk to her, see her, hug her. I want to make up for all the time we lost.

“Noah?” I heard Theo calling me quietly.

“Yeah?” I answered.

“What if Liam doesn’t get custody by Friday? What if we have to wait longer?” Theo asked, his voice trembling.

I clenched my fists and took a deep breath. I knew that that was a possibility, but I didn’t want to accept it.

“He will get it by Friday.” I said, trying to sound confident. “Just one more night, Theo. Just a couple more hours and we will be driving home with our sister sitting between us. We will talk about decorating her room and I will tell her all about that time you got drunk, jumped off a roof into a pool and almost gave me a heart attack because I thought you died when you didn’t swim up right away.”

Remembering that complete and utter terror I felt when I saw him on that roof made me shiver. When he jumped and didn’t swim up right away, I was sure I lost him. I almost died right then and there. There was no fucking way I could lose him and Lucy. I wouldn’t survive that.

“Hey.” Theo grunted. “That’s private.”

“Private?” I chuckled. “The whole school was there. Even Liam and Ezra know. You were grounded for a month, dude.”

“That was an excessive punishment.” Theo said.

“That’s what you get for almost killing your brothers.” I chuckled.

Liam and Ezra were furious. The jump was pretty high, and the pool wasn’t that deep. The idiot could have really died. Liam grounded him immediately, but Theo didn’t complain much. He was “the it guy” in school for months, and girls threw themselves at him even more than before. His little stunt even got me some fame and a few girls, on the count of being his twin brother.

“What time is it?” Theo broke the silence again.

“3 am.” I said.

Theo sighed. “Four more hours.”

I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.