"Goodbye then." I whisper a single tear running down my face. I hope he won't notice the redness in my eyes from crying for probably over an hour before getting to the airport. It's embarrassing. I'm an emotional wreck while he is all excited to leave the country for good. After another short hug I let go of him.
"Bye Gio. And thanks for driving me today." And with one last friendly pet on my shoulder Erling grabs his suitcase and disappears towards his gate leaving me behind with a crumpled up letter in my hand. I just couldn't give it to him. He probably would've laughed at me or maybe even worse. Maybe he would've never talked to me again if he knew how I feel about him. Us. I miss him. How can I already miss him this much? I slowly walk towards the parking lot. I can see planes landing and taking off while I get into my car a hint of Erling's perfume still stuck in the air. I wonder how long it will take until those parts of him will be gone as well. And with that thought and my eyes filled up with tears for the second time today I drive home not prepared for a life without him.
It has been a couple of weeks since Erling signed his new contract and moved to England. And there hasn't been one day when just the thought of him didn't made me tear up. It's pathetic how I lay in bed every night waiting for him to call or at least text until I fall asleep. The letter I wrote for him still lays on my nightstand. I couldn't bring myself to throw it away and just like yesterday I'm staring at it while I can feel the tears building up in my eyes again.
Erling Just 10 minutes ago you told me you were leaving me. Well not me. Dortmund. But it feels like you're leaving me.
I've been thinking about you a lot lately. More than it would be normal for friends. I think about the way you talk and laugh. The way words leave your mouth and almost always put a smile on my face. And so much more ...
I remember when I first saw you and for some reason I was immediately drawn to you. Like this butterflies in my stomach kind of feeling. Back then I didn't understand why. But now I do. And I'm scared. Scared of my feelings and your reaction. The possibility of loosing you and our friendship. But some risks are worth taking which is why I'm writing this letter to you.
