And then I hear the words coming from Jude's mouth I was so afraid of.
"I send it to him. I send it to Erl, Gio."
14.09.2022, Champions League group stage, second match week , Manchester City vs Borussia Dortmund
I close the zipper of my jacket as I step out onto the freshly mowed lawn. The grass is still wet and the cold air blows through my hair, ruining it, although I couldn't care less how it looks. The German weather may not be the best, but it is definitely better than the one in England. We've only been here for less than 24 hours and it has already rained three times. I grab one of the balls and start warming up. I see the rest of my team enter the stadium, one of them being Jude. I haven't spoken to him since our conversation on Monday. I just couldn't. I'm mad at him. Disappointed. Scared of what will happen. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear the fans start cheering, screaming and clapping. I turn around just to find the Manchester City Team coming onto the pitch ready for their warm up. And all in the back, taller than everyone else, I spot him. I can see him scanning the stadium, waving to some of the fans picking up a ball at the same time when his eyes catch mine for just a split of a second. And this second is enough to confuse me for the rest of our training session before the big game. Great.
30 minutes later we are back in the locker room putting on our jerseys for the match. I am more than excited to be back in the starting eleven and no one will ruin this moment for me. Not Jude. Not Erling. None of these City fans. No one. Even though I haven't slept the last two nights because my thoughts were only revolving around one certain topic and me creating the most embarrassing scenarios about my reunion with Erling in my head, I am full of energy and ready to get out there. I will have plenty of time to drown in my misery and cry over my fucked up "love" life after the next 90 minutes. I know nothing will ever be the same again. But right now I don't want to think about if I am ready for that change. And just a few minutes later I am standing on the pitch listening to the Champions League anthem, feeling my heart beating faster of excitement, definitely ready to play.