just for you || rui x reader pjsk

05: Hope?

❥︎ Trigger warning: Implications of self-harm or suicide.
- -

My heart skipped a beat.

Immediately, a string of words rushed into my head.

I need to get out of here.

Everyone around us was staring.

The longer we stayed like that, the more my heartbeat shot up. He smiled slightly.

My heart skipped a beat, again. Why? I couldn't help but question it.

A sudden thought of impulse took over me and I laid out my plan quickly in my head while frozen in place on the outside.

I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. With bated breath, I gently pushed his hand away and made my run for it behind him.

So embarrassing, I thought as I covered my face with my hands.

* * *

Nothing was going to plan. In the end, I ended up having a weird encounter with Rui once again and still ran down the hallway like a crazy person. Though, when something as embarrassing as that happens, I don't think I can focus on anything else. Despite that, I hastily made the realization that if I wanted to change the results of this cursed tale, I had to make a move. How, you ask?

I turned back to where I was earlier and began walking back. I was hoping to find Rui, Mizuki or... anyone. Anyone I was involved with on that day. The crowds had dissipated ever so slightly; I'd have assumed one of them went to tell everyone about the cinderella moment I had a while ago. In the corner of my eye, I spotted a faint purple-coloured thing. I immediately turned my head towards it. Bingo.

I quickened my pace and made a beeline for Rui, who was leaning on a wall beside the male toilets. He was looking at his phone. I quickly readied myself for whatever crap he was going to say. He's been nothing but unpredictable since I returned from that day, after all. I tapped his shoulder, and his surprised gaze turned to me. I took a deep breath. "Can I get your number?" I said, using all of my courage in one go.

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say-- "Sure." he said, smirking slightly. I let out a sigh of relief. I tried ignoring the air of awkwardness and eye contact with him. I thanked him silently and power walked away. God, that was embarrassing. But hey, I would go through a day full of embarrassment over letting a stranger die because of me anytime.

Once I'd gotten over the fact that I just asked for Rui's number like I was hitting on him, I began to head home. "Let's see...mom should be home at around five." I mumbled, lost in my thoughts. Before I realized it, I was on an empty street. It was so near my house and so familiar to me that the the thought hadn't occured to me.

The fact that it was getting dark. The fact that the streets were unusually empty despite the time. The fact that I was alone.

...

My vision darkened. I felt a suffocatingly hot feeling covering my eyes, like a blindfold or cloth pushing against my face. In a desperate attempt to struggle, I shouted with all my strength, though the only sound that came out was a quiet, "Mmmh...!"

Before I could realize what was happening, I blacked out.

* * *

I opened my eyes to a dim scene.

I could barely make out anything, but felt my hands constrained and my legs tied with rough-textured rope. I was sitting on a chair, and my mouth was duct taped. "...this one..." I heard some quiet discussion from outside the room. "She's a bad one." they say.

Then, I hear the door clack open. A glaring light shines through, and all I see is the silhouette of someone in front of me. It looked like a man who was well-built and far taller than me.

"Tough luck." the man said calmly, and I heard a gun shot.

Then, everything went dark.

* * *

"...!" a familiar feeling set in.

Deja vú? I opened my eyes. I was in my bed. No way... my head started ringing as my vision blurred.

I snatched my phone from the night stand.

6am.

July..16th...

I was spot-on.

The day reset once again.

"Hah..." I placed my hand on my head.

"Hahahahahahahaha..." I started laughing like a maniac.

"This is some sick joke."

"What the hell is this? I changed everything, so they expedite my death and now I'm shot 'cause I was unlucky?"

...

I lied down on my bed again.

I'm so sick of this.

What did I ever do...

...to deserve this?

I don't want to watch another person die. I don't want to be shot in the head.

I don't want to be killed or witness someone be killed.

I want to live.

But...

For how long is this going to repeat?

So, what if I do make it to July 17th?

Will I keep dying?

What's next, a sign hitting my head from above?

Then I'll keep repeating July 16th...

I covered my face with both hands at the thought.

I looked at the pair of scissors on my desk.

Maybe...

My eyes widened.

"...Fuck this."

I got up, got changed and headed out. As usual, mom was still asleep.

The exact same route, the exact same people.

I started to forget what an ordinary day looked like.

Even so, I dragged my foot to the bus stop.

I stared at the bus stop, then at the sun.

I held my head as it began to hurt. I hadn't thought out a plan.

As I walked forward into the bus stop, I felt like it was all hopeless. What's the point of living if my life can be reduced to a single gun shot and a repeating cycle?

Suddenly, I heard footsteps, followed by a sudden rain.

"Good morning." I quickly said and opened my umbrella. Good enough. I then walked away, as I felt him stare at me.

All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain in my head.

"stop...crying...it's...okay."

"the rain isn't scary."

"I'll stay with you."

"...Rui. My name is Rui."

The voice got clearer the more it spoke.

"...Rui?" I mumbled in confusion.

"Huh?" I heard a sound from behind.

"Did you call my name?"

Before I knew it, he was directly behind me.

What...?

- -
Chapter 5 END
1100 words

back from hiatus! this one was really hard to write.

could you guess the plot? its actually more predictable than you might think, but im quite proud of how its going to turn out. stay tuned!

thanks for your support thus far by the way

have a good one
-ffey