Carnations

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(Filly's P.O.V.)
I looked at myself in the mirror and fixed the collar of my shirt. Happy with my look I turned around to walk out of my room, so I could go downstairs. Today I would go to my mother's grave again just outside Small-Heath. Each year even as a street-kid I had gone to her grave on mother's day and her birthday. Dad had made this promise when he found out where my mother was buried to go see her, especially on those days. Either walking with me to the gravestone or waiting in the car. The grave-yard was outside of Small-heath in a field and when I was young, I always had to walk almost two hours to go see her grave. But thankfully, dad now drove me to the yard.
I walked down the stairs and called out for dad asking if he was ready to leave. Getting to the last step of the sfairs I stopped when I saw him walk out with Grace behind him. I ignored her and once again asked if he was ready. "Fievel, we have a check-up appointment at the doctor's office" he told me motioning between him and Grace. "You serious?" I asked him. "Fievel, we will see your mother right after the appointment, don't worry" he told me and patted me shoulder before walking outside. He stopped by the front door and turned around to look at me "you coming?". I scowled at him "I don't want to come to the appointment of her baby". "I'm not asking you to do that" he told me with a sigh, "then what are you asking me?" I asked him sharp. "Why don't you buy your mother her flowers, while we are at the appointment" he offered me a solution. I hesitated but eventually decided to go with them. The Graveyard is open from 8 am to 4pm. After these times you can get arrested for trespassing. And considering it was 1pm and not knowing how long the doctors appointment may last. I decided to alteast buy the flowers in case it got to a bit to late.

Father parked the car infront of the hospital. I opened the door of the car and got out. I turned to watch father help Grace out of the car by extending a helping hand. I bit the inner corner of my cheek in annoyence. "I'll be in there" I told them pointing to the flowershop across the street. Dad nodded before guiding Grace up the steps. I tsked before turning around and walked towards the flowershop. "Be with you in a minute" I heard a voice coming from the stock room. "It's just me, Nala" I called out to her. "Ah, it's you, Fievel" Nala said popping her head out from the stock room to greet me. Nala is a woman in her early 70. She was the one who made sure I got the best flowers for my mothers grave. I smiled at her before walking through the shop looking for the right flowers. "Uhm, Nala?" I asked turning to the florist, "where are the orchids?". She gave me a sad smile "I'm sorry, Filly. But they haven't come in yet". I gave her a nodd telling her it was alright. "But I have kept some carnations aside for you" she told me and brought out a bucket with pink and white carnations. "The pink carnation specifically represents a mother's love" she said grabbing the flower and handing it to me, "and the white?" I asked curious, "well the white symbolizes pure, unconditional love and good luck" she explained. "As a bonus, carnations are one of the longer lasting cut flowers that you can buy, which means your gift will last". "They are perfect, Nala. Thank you" I told her. "Which color do you want?" Nala asked me, "can I have some of both colors?" I had asked her softly. She chuckled before nodding at me before pulling a couple from each bouquet of flowers and combining them. Meanwhile I pulled the money I owed out of my inside pocket and laid it on the counter. She grabbed the money and handed me the flowers. "Tell her I said happy birthday" she said smiling sweetly. "I will Nala, thank you" I said and did a small bow in graditude. I turned around to leave the flower shop  ut Nala stopped me. "Fievel?". I stopped and turned around and gave her a look asking her what was wrong. "Can you help me unload the truck that arrives in about 10 minutes?" She asked hopefully. I pulled my arm back and pulled my pocket watch out to check the time. The time read 2pm. I hesitated for a second, I wanted to help her out because she is an older lady but was conflicted because of the last 2 hours that the graveyard would still be open for. I looked outside to see if dad and Grace had finished the appointment yet, but I didn't see them by the car. I turned back before agreeing to help her out. She gladly thanked me and offered a waterbucket for my flowers. I put them inside before following her outside. An hour passed when we finished unloading the truck and placing the flowers and other things inside the shop. "Thank you, darling" Nala told me and caressed my cheek. I smiled at her "no worries". I grabbed the carnations and waved her goodbye and walked to dad's car and got inside. I checked my pocketwatch again, it read 3pm. I got a bit of anxiousness flow through my veins knwoing that it takes around 20 minutes to ride to the graveyard from central Small-heath. As time passed and when I saw no sign of dad and Grace, I grew more impatient whike not being able to sit still in the car. I looked towards the entrance again.

A sigh of relief left my lips as I watched them walk out

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A sigh of relief left my lips as I watched them walk out. But knowing we only had around 30 minutes left before it was 4pm and the graveyard closes, I had called out to them to hurry up. "Calm down, Filly" Dad responded, "we'll be on time" he reassured me. Dad opened the door from the car and offered Grace her hand. But she stopped and turned to dad "oh I need to grab something from the shops. Give me a minute" she said and walked away. "W..w..where are you going? The graveyard closes in about 30 minutes and the shops at 5pm" I frantically told her. "Yeah, but we are here already. I'll be quick" she told me, "dad, tell her we are going to the graveyard first and will come back after" I begged for him to be on my side. "Fievel, we are right here. It will only take a second" be reassured me. I groaned in annoyance watching the blond walk away. Finally she had returned and guess what. She had returned with absolutely nothing. I immediatly told dad to drive after she had gotten in the car. My foot tapped rapidly on the foot while nervously checking my watch. We finally arrived at the graveyard and before the car even had come to a stop, I had jumled out and ran to the entrance. "No. No. No!" I yelled as the gate came into my vision. I banged my fist on the iron gate that had been closed because it was after 4pm. I tried to pull on the gate to open it, in a hopefull attempt to go and see my mother. Sadly, the gate didn't budge. "No..." I whispered and my voice broke due to sadness. I hung my head low and felt my lip tremble. I heard footsteps come closer from behind me and felt dad lay his hand on my shoulder. Anger filled my heart and I slapped hid hand from my shoulder. "You promised me we would be on time!" I yelled at him angry, "you bastard!". "Fievel, we can come by tomorrow morning" he told me, "no. I wanted to go today" I snapped at him, "but you can't anymore. They have closed up for today" dad told me. I clenched my fist and walked up to him "I wanted to go today". "Why do you need to see her today. She'll still be there tomorrow morning" he told me back. "Because its her birthday!" I screamed in his face loudly, "you should fucking now that, considering you're the one who preached about specifically going here on her birthday". I turned around to walk away. "I had a lot on my mind, I'm sorry I forgot" he apologized. But I didn't accept it and shook my head in dissapointment "I didn't ask to much. The only thing I asked from you was to bring me here on time" I told him, "you're a grown man, Fievel. You could've figured out a way to get here yourself" Grace then said coming into the situation. Immediatly I felt my fist clench tightly and I wanted to punch her badly. "Fievel" dad said in a warning tone as he saw me shake in anger. My eyes snapped towards him. We stared at each other for some time. Before, somehow, I managed to turn myself around to walk away from the two. I passed the car and continued to walk to the road. I heard the car getting started and eventually dad drove beside me. "What are you doing?" He asked, "I'm walking, can't you see?" I harshly snapled at him. "You can't walk back to Small-Heath. That will take you almost 2 hours" he said with a laugh, "It's not like I haven't done this before" I told him while continuing to walk. "Just get in the car" he tried once again. I ignored him completely. For some time he drove slowly beside me untill Grace spoke  "Tommy, he'll be alright. Let's just go home". From the corner of my eyes, I could see him hesitate for a second. But Grace once again begged for him to drive her home. He told me he would come back once he had dropled Grace at home. I didn't answer or reply to him and keot walking. I heard him sigh before he drove off. After the car dissapeared from my view, I stopped walking. I sharp breath left my lips as I realized I was left behind. Yeah, it hurt. But for some reason, I had expected it aswell. I began walking again and told myself to just go to Polly, instead of walking the way home. I had absolutely no desire to be home now.

Published: 11th of September 2022

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