life without two | an exo fanfiction

17 ♡ Too much

*SUHO POV*

My mind is a blur and filled with thoughts I would hate to experience once again. My tears can't stop but to fall down my cheeks, as I stumble across the room onto the couch. I'm a wreck right now, but I can't do anything about it.

"Hyung!" All I hear is Sehun's voice burst through the door, and I'm holding my face in my hands. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean it to turn out this way." He says to me, his pleading eyes staring into my expression of disappointment and guilt.

"What do I do? If Tao leaves, everyone will just bash me up even more. I've already had enough of this with Kris and Luhan... but one more person?" This is seriously too much. I blabber out the words like never before.

Sehun is trying as hard as he can to comfort me, and I am truly grateful. Right now, since Lay is in China, I've been having an even harder time with this Tao situation. The company is going to blame me, and my career will pretty much go downhill once again.

Lay was always so caring and his reputation of being the kindest member is really no joke. So right now, Sehun has been the one trying to help me the most, and he doesn't really have as much schedules as the other members do at this time right after our busily prepared comeback. I can't wait until he's finally back, and I have someone's shoulder to lean on again.

"Hyung... let's have some bubble tea?" He offers, holding out his hand with pouting lips. Without saying a word, I accept and nod my head.

*TAO POV*

My mind is a blur and filled with thoughts. I don't know what to do anymore, and where my life is even heading at this moment. My dad wants me to separate from my dream, and the nine guys I've spent this important time in my life with. I can't just leave them like that. I don't want them to experience what I did when Kris and Luhan hyungs left. It's too much for them to suffer through again.

But then again, I can't let my dad down. He's been helping me through my whole life. But he always told me to follow my dream. And I'm living it right now.

My phone vibrates, and it's a message from Sehun. Boba tea place, where we used to hang around in our trainee days. Urgent, now.

I don't even want to face any of our members at the moment. Not being sure if I'll regret the decision or not in the future, I decline the offer without replying. I'm sorry, Sehun-ah.

Updates from my SNS pages are going crazy now from what I've heard, and they sure aren't positive. I don't think I'll be checking on anything in a while. I'm too paranoid of what things people will be shooting my way, and I'm too scared of what word I'll say truthfully online will become.

My eyes scan over the time and date, right before turning my phone off. May 7th, 2015. There's something familiar about that date, and I felt like an idiot not knowing why for a second or so. I sigh heavily in the realisation that it's already been a year since our overdose music video was released. A bit less than a year ago, you could say that everything started to fall apart.

No one knew except for me and Suho hyung about Kris hyung leaving and I was devastated. I don't want the members to be devastated because of me as well.

*SEHUN POV*

My mind is a blur. Suho hyung is opposite me, staring down at his hands in his lap. I examine is face clearly, and there's not even a tiny bit of happiness or hope to be found. His bubble tea is half drunken, the ice already seeming to melt because of the scorching weather. I grab his wrist and place it back on the table. "Hyung... please cheer up. Or else I'll be sad too," I plead, trying to get his attention.

"There's no point pretending to be sad and just placing a smile on your face, Sehun-ah," He replies. It's true. I'd rather see him sad then pretending to be happy and hiding all his emotions. "But I guess I couldn't say anything because Luhan was your best friend and well... he left too."

"Don't even mention his name right now... It's too hard for everyone," I mumble under my heavy breath. Suddenly, something seems to follow Suho's gaze, and he stares at his wrist and fiddles with his bracelet.

"I got this when we first debuted..." He almost inaudibly says, and I catch my eyes on the bracelet engraved with 'We are one.' My heart sinks into a hole which I can't seem to get out of, and for me, too, there's no point holding into happiness which is fake.

"Suho hyung... I know I seem like a maknae who does nothing and is useles... but seriously. I am here whenever you have struggles. I wish more people would rely on me even though I'm the youngest," I say.

I can't help but start to feel emotional over everything and I grab his hand to place on my palm. His eyes stare into mine and they are unsure of what is to come. I get mad at myself because I have to honestly say that among the fans, I am considered one of the popular ones. What do I even do? Suho hyung is so determined and amazing and never gives up. He is basically the glue that sticks all of us together in hard times. I feel bad for stealing the spotlight.

My phone lights up in hopes of a good reply from Tao, but all there is is an apology. A one that makes my stomach uneasy. A one that is unsure of where it is leading my mind. I wish he could be more straightforward.

*BAEKHYUN POV*

Chanyeol sits beside me and says he is fine, but that look in his eyes tell me the opposite. He's feeling unsure, and I know it. "What's wrong Chanyeol-ah?" I mutter.

"Don't you know already, Baekhyun? I haven't seen Tao for ages and everything is falling apart. It's horrible," He says while pouting, and I can't help but nod and agree while sighing and twiddling my thumbs.

"We can't let all of this happen all over again. It's been too much for us to handle. We can't let down our fans either." I add on.

Chanyeol just stares at what's in front of him, which is clearly nothing more than a TV that hasn't been switched on. "What do we do, Baekhyun-ah? It's really too hard, isn't it."

"It's going to be o-," Before I could finish my own sentence, a phone call from Sehun arrives. "We need to get Tao back with us. We need to talk to him right now. It's urgent, so I suggest you gather all the other members and meet Suho and I at the bubble tea place not far away from our dorm."

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OOOOO! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in literally one and a half months. Life has been seriously hectic, with my mid year exams and being part of our school musical.

SO much has happened while I was on my little hiatus, Tao's in LA, EXO Next Door is ending :(, Chanbaek on Return of Superman, Tao, Baekhyun and Suho's birthdays, and so many other things! I'm sorry if I left you guys waiting, too. Trust me, it may take me a while to update chapters but I will never leave this story hanging!

Thanks for all this support, and more of Kris and Luhan later on! Saranghaeyo <3