AOT: Captivating His Manacled Heart (Completed)

Epilogue

I know it's not easy to forgive people who caused your pain and sufferings.
I know it, trust me.

Years have passed that I have repeatedly blamed myself for the death of my wife, that if only I had been there and not left her alone, maybe sheʼs still alive.

It's very hard for me to move forward, I can't forgive myself for the death of my wife.

But, I don't wanna ruin my life again. I once was lost and out of direction. I live my life like a routine, a task that we need to do everyday.

I f*cking changed myself, trying to avoid the nightmares everytime I close my eyes at night.

I bed and bang all the girls I want just to forget my dead wife. Having sex with different girls, almost everyday.

Alcohol and sleeping pills has been my easiest way to sleep. But nothing helped me, no one can replace the throne that my wife has owned in my heart. Until I met her, the woman of her confidence.

Babae na sa unang kita ko pa lamang ay bumilis na ang tibok ng aking puso. Babae na hindi mawala sa isip ko mula nang unang masilayan siya ng mga mata ko. God knows how I did my best to avoid her. I promised that I will not let my heart beat again for another woman, but dang!

Who can resist the great Maureen Everette Vallejo? Pati nga ang puso kong tila bato sa tigas at yelo sa lamig ay napalambot niyaʼt nagawang bihagin. Napatibok niya ito sa ikalawang pagkakataon, hindi ko man gustuhin!

I donʼt want this. I have no right to love again after what happened to Allison.

So I became harsh and mean on her, I told her words that I know wounded her soft and innocent heart. Yes, I know she's innocent. Despite her being playful and naughty, I know that she's innocent.

She continue seducing me, and I told you, it is not easy to control myself. She's very tempting. But I know, too, that she is the kind of woman who loves to commit, and I don't. I'm not ready yet. I still want my wife alive, I want her only. Iyon ang alam ko, pero hindi ko namamalayan na ganoon pala ang nararamdaman ko dahil iyon ang nakasanayan ko na.

I realized that I need to accept what happened three years ago despite the foul informations my investigator told me about my wife's death. I discovered that there had been negligence in the hospital where she died, where I am currently working, and where I met the woman who captured my heart, the same woman who happened to got all the privileges that should have belonged to my late wife. Privilege to be treated and cared for first, privilege to live.

Gulong-gulo ako, gayunpamaʼy hindi ko magawang kay Everette lamang ibunton ang lahat ng sisi. Parehas lang silang nag-aagaw buhay ni Allison nang mga oras na iyon. Ang kaibahan lang ay nagkataong anak siya ng may-ari ng ospital kaya nakuha niya ang maayos na pag-aasikaso na dapat makuha ng lahat ng pasyente sa mundo.

"Is it because you want to avenge the death of your wife?" she asks.

Tears rolled down on her pretty face. I averted my eyes, I don't wanna see her on that vulnerable condition. It's breaking my heart. F*ck! I am in love with this silly woman.

"I'm asking you, Trevour," she repeated between her suppressed sobs.

D*mn, yes! Revenge came up in my mind after discovering what really happened three years ago, but I can't now. I love to get the justice, but I love her most. Mahal ko na siya at napagtanto ko lamang iyon nang lumayo ako sa kaniya.

"Is it b-because you . . . wanna get r-rid of me so that I can finally pay off her life?"

It's not easy. But I really have to accept what happened, especially that my late wife always visits me in my dream. She wants me to let go of the past. She wants me to be happy.