Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
If I was a man, I'd be the man
I'm woken up by the smell of bacon and eggs, I peer over the Couche to see Fez cooking. I sit up straight and stretch my arms, even though the Couche tortures my bones I would still choose this over the bed I had in the mental hospital. The house is quite yet peaceful, I'm guessing Ash hasn't woke up yet since the two brothers would be together.
"You hungry?" I hear Fez ask, I turn around to see him plating up some eggs, I nod and come sit down at the table, there is three plates, two at one side and one at the other, I choose to sit at the opposite side of the two boys, I'm guessing there going to talk to me and the last thing I need is to be sat next to Ash while he practically wants to choke me to death.
Fez plates up the food and goes to get Ash. I sigh and wait patiently for them, when they finally come they sit down and I wont lie, the first 2 minuets of us eating eggs and bacon was so awkward I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
"So how was it" Fez asks breaking the silence, he doesn't look at me he just continues to look at his plate while he eats and I'm glad he doesn't, I don't really know what to say, Am I better? Did the place help? I don't know, I mean I've been out for 36 hours and all I have felt is guilt.
"it was alright" I say, then it goes quite again, I continue to eat the eggs and sit uncomfortable on my chair. "I think it helped, I mean I don't know yet, I hope it did, I don't want to hurt anymore people" I say, I look up from my plate to see both Ash and Fez looking at me.
"I hope it helped too" Fez says as he gives me a reassuring smile.
We continue to eat in silence the only thing can be heard is the sound of metal scraping on plates and the sound of chewing.
After were all done eating we kinda just sit around not knowing what to do, I feel so out of place, I hear someone walk out the lounge I look up to see Ash go to his room, I look at Fez to see him sigh and look lost.
"Eli can we talk" I hear Fez say, I nod and come over to where he is sat "Eli I'm sorry, I don't know why you did it but I'm sorry. I'm always here for you to talk, your like my little sister you know that right?" He says I nod and he pulls me into a hug. Fez isn't the affectionate type but ever since I Have met him all I've know is affection, he will either ruffle up my hair, pat my shoulder or hug me.
After having a chat with Fez about my while time in the mental hospital I walk home, Fez offered to drive but I said no I needed to clear my head.
When I finally got home I felt happy, I was planning on speaking to Ash as well but right now he doesn't want to speak, Fez told me to give him time, he needs space and he needs to find himself again. Apparently after what happened he went downhill fast, he started taking drugs and he overdosed one night, he's now getting help too, he has a therapist that helps him, when Fez told me this I burst into tears I thought I had just ruined Ash but when Fez told me he was seeing the therapist for other issues and that it wasn't completely my fault it took some relief off me. I still felt guilty, I don't think this guilt is going away just yet.
3 months later
I got better. I'm still clean and going strong , after seeing Fez that day 3 months ago I decided to change for me. School started and even though it was my last year of high school and I didnt have Maddi or any other of my friends I decided to get some friends that were actually my age.
My life is finally going right the only thing is, I became distant with people, I don't talk with my uncle, I kind of forgot about Fez and haven't seen him in about 2 months, I stopped texting my friends, including Maddi, I didnt mean to I just kinda...forgot.
But I'm happy. I think. I have kept up with my grades and managed to pass most of my tests and I'm clean, like actually clean, no alcohol and no drugs, I still have days that tempt me but I preoccupy myself, I even bake now.
"Bitch please tell me you will come with me" My friend Harry says across from me in the cafeteria, I turn to look at him and see him painting over his scuffed nail polish.
"where you going again" I ask, he just rolls his eyes and stops painting his nails, he puts his hands on mine and comes closer.
"You seriously need to go to a doctor about spacing out, I have been talking about a party for 20 minuets and you have had no idea" He says, I roll my eyes and shake my head.
"I cant go sorry" I say as I pull my hands away from his. He moans loudly and I see people turn around to look at him suspiciously.
"What you looking at, is it because I make that noise when I'm with your dad" He says to the girl, she t just scoffed and turned back around. "Lila is at her Christian faith meeting or whatever bullshit, oops sorry jeje" Harry says as he makes the sign of the cross "and Alex is with his grandparents for the whole week"
"Not my problem" I say as I take a bite out my apple, Harry stares at me with a sad expression.
"Please I'm begging, Jake is going to be there and I need to see him, he started to look at me in class and I see something happening between us this year" Harry says as he winks at me, I roll my eyes and take another bite out my apple.
"I have to study" I say, this wasn't technically a lie, I had to finish off some English homework, but it would only take 10 minuets since I did most of it in class, but I wouldn't tell Harry that.
"Girl please I saw you do it in English your practically already done" He says, I try and come up with a better excuse but my mind goes blank "And don't make up some shitty excuse it don't work, we don't have to be there long I just want to see him then go" I roll my eyes and look at him, I haven't been to a party in a very long time and I mean long, the last time I went to one was before I OD'd.
"Fine but 30 minuets at top" I say making an agreement with my friend who was now squealing with excitement.
