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And I can't breathe without you
Ash's POV
I walk around my bedroom wondering what to do, Eli is getting settled in on the couch, but I have no idea how to talk to her, or even what to talk about with her.
When Eli left for hospital Fez decided it was time for me to speak to someone, after the night of the incident with Eli I thought speaking to someone might actually help take some pain away. I have weekly sessions with my therapist Julia.
when I first met Julia she realised something was wrong with me. I never thought much about it but I realised my heart rate speeds up when I'm in a social place, my hands go clammy and sometimes I feel faint, after speaking wither her for a couple of sessions she diagnosed me with anxiety. For weeks I wouldn't go back to her because I was so upset she had said I had a problem, I'm a drug dealer I don't have problems, I'm mean and scary.
After Fez talked me back into going to see her I got on some medication for anxiety and I don't get as overwhelmed when with others.
I hear the light switch go off in the lounge and decide its now or never if I want to speak to her. I go out into the corridor and make my way to the lounge, when I get there I see Eli laid on the Couche on her phone, a little light is shining on her face showing her features perfectly.
I go closer and when Eli realise someone is coming she sits up, I come closer and when she realises its me she says my name.
"Ash?" She calls out, I just pause.
"I just wanted to see if your okay" my hands are starting to sweat and nerves creep their way up.
"I'm okay, are you okay?" She asks, I just swallow then nod. She moves the blanket and pats a seat next to her so I walk over to the Couche and sit.
"How are you?" She asks in a calm voice.
"I'm alright I think" I say, I hate that every time I'm with Eli I let my guard down, I don't do it with anyone but her.
"Are you sure?" She asks, this time I don't feel the need to cover up my feelings, so I don't.
"No, I'm not, every time I look at you the memory comes flooding back and I don't want that to be my memory of you, what happened that night scared me, and I- I-" I suddenly stop and my mind goes blank and suddenly the room is spinning I don't know what's happening.
"Ash?" I hear Eli call out, she sounds worried but every time she calls my name It gets quieter.
"Ash Look at me just look at me" She says, I look at her and I see worry cloud her eyes.
I suddenly can't control my breathing and I feel Eli's hand on my chest, I can't breathe and I go into panic mode.
Eli tenses and as I look up but as soon as I do she kisses me, her soft, warm lips meet mine, I pause then kiss her back.
I can finally breathe again.
"What- what happened" I ask as I calm down, Eli keeps her hand on my chest as she feels my heart.
"You had a panic attack" She says, I look at her then down to my hands. "I read somewhere if someone is having a panic attack they should hold their breathe so I thought if I kissed you it would work" She says, I look up at her and let out a chuckle.
"You were right, It did work, thank you" I say, she smiles at me then realises her hand is still their and removes it but as soon as I feel it gone I pick her hand back up and place it back.
We sit their for a couple of seconds while we both catch our breathe, as I'm looking at my hands I feel her stare on me, I look up to see her look at me worriedly "What?" I ask.
she brings a hand up to my cheek "Your crying" She says, I didnt even realise it but I had a tear on my cheek, she wipes it away and keeps her hand on my face, I feel safe in her arms and as I look up at her eyes I see Eli, my Eli, the Eli I've missed for so long. I look down at her lips then back up to her eyes, she does the same, we dance like this for a couple more seconds before I lean in and capture her lips in mine.
Her lips on mine feel perfect and I feel her hands in my neck and my hands are on her waist and everything right now feels perfect.
Eli's POV
After me and Ash kissed he fell asleep next to me, I stroked his cheek while he fell asleep, he looks tired and lost. I didnt even realise but Ash was hurt too so I stayed their until I know he was asleep and safe.
I'm woken up to feeling eyes on me, I move a little but feel Ash's arms around me but when I look up I'm met with Fez staring down at me.222
"Hey" He says, his voice filled with confusion.
"Hey Fez" I say, I go to sit up but Ash's arms are so tight around me I'm just stuck their.
"So what happened?" He asks, Its never was unusual for Fez to see me and As cuddled up on the sofa, but that was 8 months ago and a lot has happened in those 8 months so I can see why Fez is a little puzzled.
"Did you know Ash has panic attacks?" I ask Fez looks at me and shakes his head.
"I mean he has medication for anxiety but he's never had a panic attack I don't think" He say's I finally sit up and use all my strength so I can see Fez more clearer.
"Well last night he had one and If I wasn't here I think it could of ended badly for him" I say, Fez furrows his eyebrows and sips on his coffee.
"Ill get him to talk to his therapist about it" He says, I pause, Ash has a therapist?
"When did Ash have a therapist?" I ask, Fez just shrugs.
"I mean it was a while ago but it really helps him out" he says, I just nod and undo myself from Ash's arms and get up.
"You wouldn't mind taking me home Fez would you, I need to be in school in like 30 minuets" I say as I look at my watch, Fez just nods and finishes off his coffee then takes me home.
On the way home I think of what happened last night, the kiss between me and Ash has stayed in my mind all morning, I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Fez starts talking.
"So are you two together?" He asks I shake my head and look at him.
"Were not together but I think were better than we were a couple of days ago" I say as I remember when Ash wouldn't even speak to me.
"Just don't break each others hearts again, for my sake, also I want you to speak to me, you know if things get worse" He says I nod and look out the window, I appreciate Fez but all everyone seems to do is talk about what happened I mean I know it was big but It seems to follow me everyday.
