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I always knew I was a mess but last night made me realize it was much worse than I thought

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I always knew I was a mess but last night made me realize it was much worse than I thought.

Never in my life did I imagine myself as the kind of girl who would enjoy something that senile.

Growing up, I hated my stepfather because he would do the exact same thing to me with a hickory stick and it would hurt like a fucking bitch. But with Tristan, I was hot and wet and nearly begging for more.

I never thought so much pleasure could come from something like that.

What did this mean for me?

I thought it had been the effect of the alcohol but even now, after hours had passed, my body still throbbed and burned with need.

"You look amazing." The deep enthusiasm in Candice's voice shattered the war in my mind.

I turned away from my reflection and took her in. She'd worn an electric blue dress that was plunged low in the neck and had a high leg slit. "I'm so happy for you and Mr. Billionaire and I'm still very sorry about last night. Getting married with a hangover must hurt."

Fiddling with my satin gloves, I nodded. It did, but not as much as getting spanked brutally in the ass.

My disgusting fetish aside, Tristan really hurt me badly and I wanted to think the best of him but his actions got me wondering what other horrendous things he would do in circumstances where he was ultimately fueled by rage.

The rap on the door drew me out of my contemplating thoughts and our heads turned in unison to see Stefan step inside in his navy blue tuxedo.

His eyes warmed when they met mine. "If it isn't the woman of the hour." He opened his hand wide and I walked into his embrace. I needed it.

He pulled away, looking down at my cloudy wedding dress. "You look beautiful, cookie, if you weren't my boss's bride, I would be taking you to the altar myself."

I smiled, except I didn't feel beautiful. I didn't feel anything. I just wanted this to be over. "Thank you, Stefan."

"While you guys get all emotional, I'll go and settle in the car." Candice chirped in, handing me my French bouquet before kissing me on the cheeks. "Good luck honey, try not to trip."

"I won't." I smiled and watched her go. The minute those doors closed, I blew out a breath.

"You look out of it," Stefan observed, folding his arms. "You can still back out, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "Can I really?"

"Depends." He shrugged. "Do you want to?"

"Yes and no," I sighed. "It's complicated."

"I kind of get it but you sure you're okay tho?" He uncrossed his arm and took a step forward. "What happened last night?"

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

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