✓ [BOOK 01] TOLERATE | JAYWON FF

Chapter 32

Jungwon came out of the delivery room and went to me. I panicked as I stood up. My heart raced so fast while staring at him. His features become more mature and prominent but he still looks so soft.

"Congratulations. The delivery of the baby is successful," He said in a monotone. Is he still mad at me?

"I think yo-" I wasn't able to continue what I was about to say when a man rushed in our direction. It's Amari's husband, Lee Heeseung.

"How's my wife and our baby?" Mr. Lee blurted while still catching his breath. "Huh?" Jungwon looked at him, confused. "My wife! Amari!" He said in frustration.

My brow furrowed when he yelled at Jungwon. "Calm down. And don't yell at him, bro," I said with gritted teeth.

"I-I'm sorry. How's my wife?" He asks again in a calmer manner now. Jungwon stared at me for a moment. I don't know if my mind is just trippin' but I think I saw him smile.

"Your wife and your baby are both safe, Sir. Congratulations," Jungwon said and Mr. Lee was relieved upon hearing what he said. I was just staring at him with a proud smile plastered on my face.

Mr. Lee left to see the baby. So now it's just the both of us. I gathered all my strength and decided to talk to him.

"Hey. It's been a while. How are you?" I thank God that I did not stutter. I'm nervous as hell, bro.

Jungwon gives me a gentle smile. A smile that could take all of my problems away. "Hi... Yeah. It's been a while," he said. "I'm good... so much better. I'm completely healed now."

Upon hearing what he said I feel a little sad. Because it seems like I have no room in his life again. I'm afraid that if I bother him again... he will be ruined. And I don't want that. I want him to always shine.

"Good to hear that. I'm so proud of you, Kitten."

I know that maybe this is my last chance. But I can not risk Jungwon's peace of mind. He seems fine without me. So I have finally decided not to pursue him. I am fine now knowing that he is well and living his best life. I can love him from afar. I can do that. I will continue to love him even without him knowing.

Jungwon smiled at what I said. "So. Maybe, I'll see you around?" I said smiling genuinely at him. Jungwon nodded his head. I stared at him for the last time before turning my back and walking away. I know it's cowardly. But I can not risk seeing him lose himself because of me again. That will kill me.

I was about to grab the door of my car when someone stopped me. I turned around and was surprised to see Jungwon looking all serious while staring at me.

"That's it?" He said and I got confused. "That's all that you have to say after four years?"

Tears formed on the corners of his eyes. He is crying again... because of me. Damn it! Great Job, Jay! Just fucking great!

"D-Don't you love me anymore?" pain was visible in his voice. He looks at his feet and waits for my response.

I lifted his face through his chin and stared directly into his soul. "God. If you only knew. I never stop loving you, baby. Trust me I never did."

"Then why are you leaving me again?"

"Because I'm afraid."

"Afraid?... Afraid of what?"

I cupped his face. "I'm afraid that I might hurt you again... Seeing you doing better without me made me think that you are your best version without me," I wiped his tears. "I'm afraid that you might lose yourself again by loving me. I'm afraid that I might fail you again. I am not sure if I can be better for you, baby. I am not sure of myself. I am afraid of myself. Are you going to love a man who isn't even sure about himself? Will you risk it?"

Jungwon nodded endlessly. "Yes. So please fight for me... for us. I don't care if you are not sure about yourself because I, myself am sure that I want you to be part of my life again. We will cry again but this time let's cry out of happiness, mhm? And I might look better and I might be doing better without you. But I am the best when I'm with you. So please, Love. Take me home. I have been far from home for four years. I don't think I can live homeless again for another year. Please. Take me home." He cried so hard and so did I.

I embraced him tightly. God. What have I done in my past life for you to give me a man like him?

"I'm so sorry for being a coward, Kitten. I missed you so so much. And I loved you before... I love you now... I will continue loving you in the future and another lifetime." I cupped his face and slowly kissed him on the lips. Jungwon responded to the kiss. We shared a very passionate kiss before leaning our forehead together. "I love you." He said which made me smile even more.

"We are finally home," we both said in unison.

THE END.