THE FADING FALLEN ● Bucky Barnes X OC ● 18+ ● ENGLISH [COMPLETE]

Chapter 62

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Loss.

Her life so far, Emilia has been confronted with it time and time again. More often than some others.

Her parents. Her brother. A part of herself, having already lost many fond memories as a child due to the accident and subsequent coma.

Also the supposed death of her friends more than five years ago and a few months before, when they were trying to get them back, showed once more how hard it was for her to deal with it.

It weren't that she didn't know this was part of her life.

But the pain and that feeling of emptiness was too great each time for her to bear. The inward refusal to admit it was greatest the moment she lost not only Bucky, but the baby as well.

That was like a slap in the face that erased everything inside her.

Josephine did her good for that time. She helped to cope with everything. However, it was not really the right way, as Emilia now realized thanks to the ritual.

For four days now, she had been alone and on her own in the small mountain cave. One of the Jabari tribal elders held the ceremony before leaving her behind.

But she was not really all alone. Bit by bit, and with each successive shift, she came closer to what would bring her salvation.

Hanuman, god of unconditional love and devotion, showed her the way during all this.

Because this was exactly what she needed to understand: there was no unconditional love and devotion without loss and sorrow.

And that also meant being selfish now and then. Not just to guard herself from those emotions. Rather, to protect what meant the most to her.

Emilia wasn't aware of how much she fought against her own feelings until that moment. Just as little as the fact that Josephine, conversely, finally understood it now.

Transparent, almost invisible, Emilia recognized herself in the glow of flames before her. She heard her own fragile voice like a serenade through crystal clear water.

"I only wanted to protect you. Just as you can't live without me, I can't exist without you. I'm sorry. I refused to see how much you were tormented by all of this. I believed feeling nothing was the only right solution."

The soft crackling of the fire broke the night silence.

"It's okay. I didn't make it easy for you either, as much as I resisted."

A small smile flitted across her lips.

"I realize now that there are moments in life when you have to accept loss. When you also have to jump over your shadow and act to save the ones you love. Even if it meant losing a part of yourself in the process."

With her head lowered, Emilia looked into the blazing sea of red before her. Rapha's face appeared in front of her eyes. His death was the monument she would carry with her from now on.

Not as a punishment, but as a warning. There were things you couldn't run from - and she didn't want to do it anymore.

Slowly, her gaze slid back to Josephine. In her own eyes across from her, she realized it was time to let go, to become one again.

"I promise you that I will take care of us from now on."

The gentle smile on the other side of the campfire faded more and more, giving way to an unfamiliar lightness.