Californication

48. Him

You nodded at him, looking up into his eyes, he gave you a weak smile before turning away.

"Alright," He mumbled, and you followed him round the back of the station and away from the others.

They began to talk about something, surrounding Eleven. It looked important.

You looked back, wondering if they'd sorted the problem but Will clasped onto your wrist and pulled you after him.

"Are you okay?" You asked him, the moment you were out of sight.

You were now standing behind the station. It was completely empty for miles around. It was just the two of you behind a wall, and a couple of rubbish bins to your right.

The lights flickered, casting shadows across Will's face as he spoke.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He didn't look fine.

"What is it?" You asked, looking at him worriedly, "Is it to do with the upside down? The mind flayer? The cold?"

Will shook his head, tears looked like they were coming to his eyes.

"I want to sort things." He began.

"What do you mean?"

The lights flickered again, Will pulled you closer. His eyes were glistening.

"I think there's something wrong with me." He continued, "Things aren't right, I feel things that aren't normal. And I need to fix it."

"What do you mean?" You wanted answers, "Are you sure you're not talking about the mind flayer?"

"No I'm saying I think I'm different. I feel like... a mistake." He added, his voice becoming hoarse.

"You're not." You tried to soothe him, "You're almost the opposite."

It was strange, he'd said the same things to Mike in the car. About being a 'mistake'

"No." Will shook his head, looking away for a minute. Was he sobbing?

"Will, please tell me what's wro-"

You didn't even have time to finish your sentence. Will slowly pulled you closer and before you could even realise, your lips were touching.

In a weird way, it felt nice. There were butterflies in your stomach, goosebumps rippled all over your skin. It felt electric. You'd always liked Will. But you never thought this would happen.

You'd imagined your first kiss being more special. Right now, you could tell from the way Will was so still, that he didn't really like you liked you did. And it broke your heart.

Within a few seconds, he pulled away. Your eyes were as shiny as his now, it was unfair how life was like this. You just prayed it wouldn't ruin your friendship.

"I'm sorry." Will replied, wiping his lips, "I don't.. I shouldn't have done that."

You knew what he was thinking.

You smiled encouragingly, but still let the tears fall.

"I understand," You said, "It's him, isn't it?"

Will nodded.

"Since he came, I guess I thought I knew. But I just wished it was me instead." You explained, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's my fault." Will gathered himself up to speak, "I thought if I got closer to you, it'd go away. I thought I wouldn't feel things for him anymore. But when we are together, I just imagine you are him, and then I'm falling for him again and again and again."

"It's Mike." You added, wiping your tears away.

Will nodded.

"I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." You added, giving him a smile.

"Thanks." He weakly returned it, his face looked pale, "I've never told anyone about this before.

"It's fine. I understand. It doesn't change anything though right, we are still friends?"

"Yeah of course." Will's eyes lit up slightly and the two of you shared a smile.

Relief washed over you.

Suddenly, you noticed Will's glance move from you for a moment. He quickly wiped his eyes and looked back around the corner.

Jonathan was standing there watching the two of you. You had no idea how long he'd been standing there but it seemed he had something to say.

"Sorry for interrupting things, but El might've just solved our problem." He added.

So you wiped your tears away, forced a grin onto your face and followed.

And even though the truth about Will crushed you inside, you knew that the best you could do would be to support him. Besides, there were more important things than your relationship status now.

A/n- Sorry for late update
Hopefully I will write more tomorrow