Sinfully Imperfect

49. Hearts On Platter & Gucci Meetings

"Why did you leave?" I asked, sipping my coffee as we were snuggled in the comforters. The games of winters slowly coming on the brink. The passing time submerging me in unfathomable nostalgia. One that I'd started to love and cherish.

"Ivy told me about Senior Aria. What happened?" I continued, reminiscing the night of his birthday.

He shrugged, looking distantly toward nowhere. "Just reviving old memories. None of them pleasurable."

Vague. Void of emotions. Void of information.

However, I was hellbent on knowing what had really transpired between them. I wanted him to open up about this and let it go. A part of me was troubled by the fact: did he still have any feelings for her?

Thus, with the utmost tentativeness, I put forth the question of great significance, "Why did you two break up?"

Silence. Absolute silence. The sort of silence that could swallow you up. Hold on; at this point, I was not even surprised. It became natural.

Being with him, I learned one thing for sure. Patience. Patience is the most efficient key to any bond. At each step, I'd have to be patient with him. Just like he was with me. I'd have to give him space, worrying if I ended up suffocating him with my chaos.

Aylwin Eldred was a hard shell to crack. No doubt. He took his time to open up. To the point, I'd happily name him, "Aylwin Sloth Eldred."

When, even after my slew of thoughts, he didn't speak, I felt disappointment coiling its way into my bosom. A quick churn of my gut saddened me. Perhaps he still had something for her. For Senior Aria.

However, it was short lived, the moment he poured his heart out.

"After Dad, I was guilt-ridden. Depressed. Avoided crowds and... people. To put it better, the shy side of me kicked in. It kicked in so much that I almost forgot who I was. It changed me. Socializing became my worst enemy. The only thing in mind were faces. Faces of dad, ma, Almer, Alana. That's it. I knew I was... unstable..."

There it was again. His form that I always hated to see. The flicker of vulnerability and fragility always put me on eggshells around him. Words like "unstable" didn't go with him. The more he peeled off his layers, the more wrenching things I unveiled.

"That was the best decision for us. I didn't want her to hold back for me. Alas, I let her go. I stopped meeting Aria. Called off things with her. At first, she understood." His voice fading slowly. Tone dropping to a mere whisper as the steamy vapors of coffee hit his mouth, and he sipped ever so slowly. Deep in thought.

I intertwined our fingers, stroking and squeezing. This guy next to me seemed more like a flowery petal. Being handled with caution, care, and affection. The fear of him wilting was too destructive on its own.

"But above all, the thing is, I wasn't happy. Until and unless you yourself aren't happy, how could you make others happy?" It felt like everything crumbled at once. All of his years of practice and mastery were rendered useless by a simple question of mine.

His eyes were still on the walls. Sleek dark walls. He leaned on the headrest, gripping the coffee mug so hard, I was afraid it would break at any moment.

"Aylwin." I said softly, almost in a whisper, my lips brushing against his palm. He stilled, but later relaxed.

He sighed, taking another sip, and finally, after what felt like hours, he continued. "I was no believer in forced happiness. Or showing people I'm good. It's all cool. Playing the utterly bullshit 'I'm okay' game. The best way was to confine myself, and that's what I did." I didn't know why, but his words were like shards to me. Ripping and piercing.