I Am A Monster (David Escamilla A.U.) (#Wattys2015)

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Short update, only a few pages, but it's a start. The next chapters will be longer. I promise.

"So how much longer must I wait to fill this emptiness? I've made mistakes and had my dreams slip through the cracks. I've seen such hate surround me inside of this dark abyss, but all this pain just makes me certain that there's love for me to find on brighter paths." - Second Thoughts ~ Crown The Empire

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- FIVE YEARS AGO - (The ages are not accurate in this story, but in relation to the other ages, they are relevant. Except for Dave and Brent's ages. They have to be younger than they are irl or else this wouldn't work, so for shit's sake, I'll list the characters and their ages at the end. Thanks!)

Benn sat across from me at our apartment, his eyes innocently on the plate in front of him. I knew he wanted to say something, but he was choosing not to say it out loud. That was smart of him. My other older brother, Danny walked into the kitchen, humming loudly to himself. Benn was 19 years old, Danny was freshly 17, leaving me to be 16. I was a junior in high school trying to finish it up, but since our parents died, Benn assumed custody rights over both Danny and I.

We then had to move from our comfy home and from my friends to a place where Benn could afford to keep both me and Danny in school. Of course, Benn was giving up going to college to give Danny and I a chance to have a better lives for ourselves, but I felt all of this intense pressure to get into a better college.

"So..." Benn said, his eyes weary and looking misty. "Are you ready to go to school?" I rolled my eyes at him, jumping off of the stool and storming off to grab my backpack. "Wait, Charlie-" Benn's voice followed me into my room as I packed up my last minute necessities that I would want during the day. "Charlotte, I know things are tough right now," Benn started, "but I promise-"

"If you say that it gets better, then you're lying..." I muttered, feeling my stomach twist. Benn frowned slightly, his posture deflating a bit.

"Charlie-"

"No, it's fine. I'm sorry. I'm just being moody. That's all." I flashed him a weak smile that was almost sincere, but he didn't believe it.

"Charlie, I know how you're feeling. This is tough for Danny too. We have to stick together, okay? C'mon, Charlie Suede, let me see that million dollar smile." Benn gave me a cheesy grin which made me crack a small smile. "There it is!" Benn scooped me up in a hug making me feel instantly better. When he pulled away, I had tears in my eyes. "It's okay, lil' Suede. I asked Danny to keep an eye out for you."

I nodded and wiped the tears away with my shirtsleeve. "What're you going to do while Danny and I are at school?" I asked, genuinely curious. It had been a while since Benn had some time on his own. It was truly a mystery to me what Benn would do in his spare time, now that he had some.

"Hm..." Benn seemed quizzical to this question too. "I think I might take a bath...watch a movie...most likely take a nap. A long nap. You two wear me out."

"In the best ways, though, right?" I asked sheepishly.

Benn grinned, nodding. "Of course, in the best ways."

"Charlotte," called Danny, getting my attention immediately. "We're gonna be late!"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Fine, I'm coming!" I snapped. Benn gave me a small smile.

"I'll see you when you get home. Remember, our first impressions matter. Put yourself out there, Charlie. You'll do great."

I nodded slowly and I left Benn there, starting off on my way to a new school and a new life.

Benn Suede - 19

Danny Suede - 17

Charlotte Suede - 16

David Escamilla - 19

Andy Velasquez - 16

Brandon Hoover - 18

Brent Taddie - 18

Hayden Tree - 18