I Am A Monster (David Escamilla A.U.) (#Wattys2015)

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"Sound your alarms for the end of the lie that you've abused for far too long, we're in the hour of the fallout now, and there's nobody who can save our souls.  Rise up for the things worth saving, rise up for what we'll destroy, rise up for something, or you will be lost as you fade out inside of the noise" - Children Of Love ~ Crown the Empire

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"Andy, for the last time, I don't have any chick flicks." I groaned, rolling my eyes as Andy parked his car in the parking garage. "I might have the Titanic, but I don't know."

"You better have the Titanic." Andy grumped, hopping out of his Jeep and locking the car doors.

"Why are you even locking your door? It's dumb as fuck. The top is fucking off of your car..." I pointed out, rolling my eyes. Andy shrugged, frowning a little.

"Hey, that's no fun. Now I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life." Andy trailed off and looked back at his car. "Meh. Let's go!"

He grabbed my arm and tugged me along, leading me to the elevator to go up to my apartment.

When the elevator brought us to the floor that my flat was on, I walked down with Andy to the door. I unlocked it with my key and was instantly shocked at what I saw in front of me.

Benn was sitting on the floor, a joint in one hand and his phone in the other. He was playing some sort of game that kept him occupied and I waited for him to notice Andy and I entering the room. He finally figured it out when I cleared my throat.

"Oh-" Benn was startled, his hands shaking slightly. He tried to put out the joint, but it was too late.

"Really, Benn?" I asked, my eyebrow shooting up. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're smoking?"

"Look, Charlie," Benn said, standing up, "I didn't think you'd be coming home for another-"

"It doesn't matter. You were smoking pot in the house?" I snapped. Andy closed the door and awkwardly walked to the bathroom, trying to excuse himself from this unfortunate family battle.

"Charlie, I am so sorry, but you don't even know what the hell this is doing to me." Benn said, his hand resting on my shoulder, looking me in the eye.

I gave him a glare. "What what's doing to you? Mom and Dad dying? You taking care of us? Are we really that big of a burden to you? I can't believe you're actually looking for sympathy here. Benn, I fucking hate you!" I turned on my foot and Benn's hand slid down from my shoulder to my wrist, holding me tightly.

"Charlie..." he whispered. "Charlie, I'm so sorry you found out this way. But I've been smoking since before mom and dad died. I was smoking when mom told me not to. I was smoking when Dad convinced her to let it go and let me live my life. Charlie, it's not bad. I promise you. I've been smoking safely, I've been making sure I don't smoke too much, and I swear to you, if you want me to stop smoking altogether, then I'll do it. Just give me the command, and I'll do it."

I was still, staring at Benn as he gave me a desperate look. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, Benn. In all honesty, I don't care. Okay? Have fun getting high."

"I will." Benn gave me a sassy look. "Is Andy spending the night?"

"Benn." I said, exasperated. "He's just a friend."

"Oh, sure. This is the first time you've brought a guy home."

"Not true." Andy's voice chimed in through the room, causing me and Benn to glance over at him. He shut the bathroom door behind him and grinned. "I heard this morning lots of dudes showed up at the apartment?"