My Wee Mate

12 - Life Turns Sour

Ailsa

"You'll be fine, lass." That's what my father says as we grow closer to the stables.

My fingers knot in my dress, agitated and restless at the idea of what he's forcing me to do. The things that most normal girls should be able to do.

Riding horses. I've always been fond of the animals, but only from a far. They always threatened me with their large stature and demanding presence.

I had thought that my father was done with trying to coax me into learning to ride a horse. But all of a sudden he's cleared out his schedule, and made time to sit in the saddle beside me and instruct me on how to properly ride.

He stumps through the grass flattening each green blade beneath his boots. He waves at clan members as we pass, calling out to them, knowing each of them by name.

To any onlooker, he would seem like a personable man with good manners, and with a close relationship to his teenage daughter.

But in reality, there was a monster hidden under the surface that could break free from the thin ice covering him at any moment. This was the man I've always known, and the only people that I have experienced him in the same light are those that get close enough.

I wouldn't wish getting close to my father on anyone. It's a wonder that some do it willingly.

My father treasures into the barn, and the horses come alive with his presence. As the wooden doors slam against the hinges rattling through the rafters, the large animals become restless. They prance in place getting to be released from their prisons.

Or, maybe the laird makes them nervous. I reached out to a nearby mare, palming her nose as her whiskers twitch. I've always thought that animals are a good judge of character.

"Alright. Saddle up." Father booms, carrying his leather saddle across the wood floors, kicking loose stems of hay as he goes.

He begins fitting his horse with all the necessary straps. I stand behind him, watching dutifully from the sidelines.

I know he wants me to saddle my own horse, but I don't know how.

When he realizes this, he rolls his eyes at me, looking at me like I'm the disappointment he would rather rid himself of than teach the basics of life to.

It takes a while to saddle up two horses, but in the time that it took I only thought of one thing.

Fraser.

I wonder how he must feel being locked up like he is.

Father leads the horses out of the stables, and I follow, looking up at the sun and thinking that Fraser must miss the sun, it's light and it's warmth. I wish there was some way I could bring him something that could recreate the feel of it's natural beauty. A lantern doesn't seem to do it justice.

There's a chunk of wooden stump that a stable boy carries behind me, a step stool thats used for children to aid in climbing the horse. I swallow my humiliation at being treated like a bairn. I should expect it by now.

The stump is dropped on the ground on the left side of the mare, and the stable boy reaches for me. I cant help but compare everything about him to Fraser.

This boy is everything that Fraser is not. He's soft, scrawny, sweet. I look away from his pale skin and blonde hair, hating the way he's not the man I really want. He touches my arm, steering me towards the beast of an animal that I'm expected to sit a top.