20 - Nature

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Ailsa


      The ache in my chest will not go away, never dissolving even the slightest bit, and it has absolutely nothing to due to my ailment.

     Fraser. I couldn't stop thinking of him.

     Even when my suitor is discussed, even when my father spits foul words at me about what a disappointment I am.  None of it is enough to dissuade my agony. If anything, it fuels it.

     Visiting Fraser had been a sort of balm that eased my suffering day to day. And now, that pain dulling, nightly event is gone.

      It makes my life harder. How selfish is that?

     He's the one imprisoned, he's the one who is in pain, he's the one who feels betrayed.

     I make my way outside, sneaking away to try to have a stolen moment to myself in nature's comforting embrace. It's raining today, the dreary weather not at all uncommon for Scotland's highland countryside.

     The clouds are thick and gray, flat and stretched over the horizon as they hide the sky from me. I guess that the sky would be white if I could see it.

     I trudge through the rain, hiking my skirts up around my knees to try to dissuade the mud, but it will always persist, so my efforts are for nothing but my own comfort. I enjoy the breeze going under my dress, the skirts and layers of fabric tend to trap the heat in.

     It's refreshing, this rain, and I let it hit my face as if it will wash away all of my worries.

     Fraser. Impending marriage. Broken lungs. Hateful parents, giddy to be rid of me.

    I find a fallen tree in the woods, the trunk so broad that my feet swing above the slick ground. I consider everything going on in my life and compare it to the forest around me. Too many things buzzing around, too many happenings to focus on just one.

     My life is much like this nature filled space. There is no humanity in nature, no room for mercy. It is simply a circle of life. Death, pain, obstruction, its all part of the circle. Much like my life, there is nothing you can do to stop natures cruel plans. It is how things are meant to be.

     I sigh, realizing that I must not fight this fate, but let it take a hold of me.

     Traveling back the way I came, I look around at all the buildings surrounding the castle. Small huts and houses that lay around the property, each with a family or a purpose.

      One home in particular catches my eye as smoke billows into the windy air from the chimney. Everyone in our tiny town stays away from this particular place. The woman who lives there is considered suspicious.

     Some say she is a witch, but the old lady, Ella, says she is simply a healer with qualities that set her apart. It is not disputed that the woman is a talented doctor, but the suspicions of her supernatural qualities are what keep her from the castle.

     My father allows her to have sanctuary here, apparently she saved a number of men on a hunt years ago, keeping them from death. The men and their families demanded that the woman be rewarded in some way, despite her odd ways.

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