Reviewer Sienna (TRUSTING BITS AND PIECES)

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'Trusting Bits and Pieces'

by waterandfire_xox

Reviewed by daydreamersw


Characterisation 9/15 points

Characterisation is a writer's craft that can be honed and perfected, it takes a lot of practise and I would probably say it is one of the hardest parts of a novel to grasp. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most important. First of all, I'd like to start by saying that this is the area I am often the most critical in as a reviewer, so to achieve 9 points is actually a pointer that you are doing something very right. The writer has created convincing teenage characters, they have thoughts and dreams and the best thing of all is that they are multi-dimensional. 

As authors, it is often easy to slip into the trap of making characters in our novels perfect prototypes of human beings with no faults and no questionable decisions. This author avoids this very well, the main character Lexi is full of life and feminine gusto, she makes admirable decisions but also some questionable ones too. This is one of things I love. 

The characters this author has created are real, they are relatable, they are human. They are perfect for a teenage audience. However, this said, there is certainly improvement to be made. The first thing I noticed was in Chapter 1 was that we get a large description of Vanessa, who is essentially a side character. As much as I love detailed descriptions and effort put into all characters of the story you must remember that the FMC/MMC should always be the front-runner in every scene. This is repeated in Chapter 7 when we get to know Vanessa's backstory and yet we don't know Lexi's yet. I'd like to see you develop your main character to the same level, hopefully even further in order for your readers to be fully engaged. 

My main constructive criticism would be the character of SJ, in some scenes he comes off as quite aggressive and in the first chapter blatantly regards Lexi's lack of consent to the kiss.

This type of aggression is something often romanticised in romance novels on Wattpad and I must ask you to be aware of the audience reading your book. Aggression should not be romanticised. There are other ways to create the sense of a "troubled" character I think you are going for without turning your male lead into an assaulter. Perhaps, you could work on his backstory and rework some of these scenes to come across less of a red flag.

Plot 12/15 points

I always say working with cliches is not always a bad thing and in this novel it really pays off. Cliches are cliches because they are loved by a large market of readers and truly your book is loved! However, you lost 3 points due to the lack of progression, some scenes felt sort of static. My largest tip would be to always make sure every scene has a purpose. You need to hook your reader with every chapter.

Themes: 8/10 points

Not much to say here as I really do believe the writer is hitting all the areas they need to in terms of themes. The largest trope in this book is one typical of romance novel, mainly hitting coming of age. However, as mentioned above, the "bad boy" theme does not need to be abusive. In Chapter 6, SJ talks about black women in a way that could be interpreted as offensive and micro-aggressive. I'm hopeful that this was not your intention but this does need to fixed. I'm happy to help you if you message me privately. Another point was in Chapter 4, where Lexi calls her brother "delicious", I'm not quite sure this is appropriate...

Individuality: 4/5 points

The character's personalities are definitely individual and engaging. This is a major strength of yours and something which will make your book super marketable. Well done.

Basics: 5/5 points

The author has an excellent level of SPAG and I haven't found any places where I couldn't understand or the grammar was particularly poor. I think this book has greatly benefited from time spent editing. You should be very proud of this rating. Keep it up.

Total: 38/50 points

Summary

Overall, this book is an engaging read, definitely capturing the thoughts and dilemmas of teenage years. The writer has an excellent grasp of SPAG and has managed to capture an individual part of the romance book market. However, major areas of improvement are in the Plot and Characterisation area. In order to be advocating for a book which will teach many girls the right message, SJ's character needs to be majorly ironed out.

***Please take the criticism in a positive manner***


~SIENNA(REVIEWER)

~THE BOOK CAFE 

~THE BOOK CAFE 

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