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Renjun woke up this day feeling amazing. Him and Haechan had such a nice day together and despite the nerves and second thoughts he's been plagued with lately he wants to man up and face his feelings. He goes about cleaning his apartment, not for any other reason but to occupy his mind so he doesn't dwell all day. He doesn't want to talk himself out of it and he knows Haechan is at work and that wouldn't be the proper place to discuss this anyway. He thinks that maybe he should cook him something? Maybe some pasta and a nice dessert or fish? He hums as he goes to his couch to sit and look up recipes on his phone. He decides fish wouldn't be good because if everything goes well, he will be getting his first kiss from the love of his life tonight and he doesn't want bad breath. Ok maybe he's getting ahead of himself but a boy can dream right?
He goes to the store and slowly walks the isles finding everything he needs, just when he gets to the check out he sees Mark.
"Mark, hi." Mark smiles brightly.
"Why do you look so happy?" He asks eyeing the two steaks in his cart.
"I decided to tell him." He says simply. Mark pulls him in for a hug.
"That's great! I'm so happy for you and I'm sure it will go well. You two deserve this happiness, you've waited long enough." He says softly.
"Do you think he might feel the same?" Renjun asks with a quiet, nervous edge to his voice. Mark knows it isn't his place to tell his feelings but he wants to reassure him nonetheless.
"I know he does. The way he looks at you like you are his whole world is a dead giveaway." Renjun looks down then back up.
"He really does that?" He asks meekly.
"Every time you enter the room." Mark says sure. Renjun smiles softly and excuses himself. He really needed to hear that.
When he gets home he puts his things away and happily flutters around. Today will change everything and he's so happy. It's about one Pm when he gets a call from Yangyang. His mood drops an octave or two.
"Hello?" He kind of asks.
"Hi, I just called to see if I could pick you up tonight?" Renjun frowns.
"Huh? Pick me up?" He questions.
"You don't remember? I should be offended but you were distracted. I asked you on a date and you agreed that you could today." He says with an obvious smile in his voice. Renjun can't believe his luck. He wants to tell him that he can't go and that he never wants to go on another date with him but he's been so nice and he can't do it like this. He agreed to the date so he will go and he will tell him that he has feelings for someone and he can't see him anymore.
"Ok, uh, how about we meet though?" He asks, not wanting him to come to his place, it's not that he doesn't trust him, he seems perfectly nice but he doesn't want it to seem too personal.
"Ok, I'll pick you up at your work then? Around four." Renjun thinks and since Haechan won't be there at that time he thinks it should be ok. He agrees and plops onto the couch dejectedly. He hates this feeling.
After a while he perks up a bit. He figures now he can marinate their steaks overnight and they will be even better. He changes into a simple sweater and jeans, nice but not too nice and heads toward the cafe. He's trying to force himself to put on a happy face so he doesn't hurt Yangyang too much. When he walks in and sees Haechan his heart does this weird thing, first it flips with excitement then the reality sets in and it clenches painfully in his chest. He watches him for only a minute before he turns and sees him. He waves awkwardly with a small smile that the other returns, just as awkwardly.
When he awkwardly asks him out his heart flips around, this is exactly what he wants but then again, reality. He tries to find the words to explain but then he hears his voice, he hears him mention their third date and watches Haechan break right in front of him. He wants so badly to wave it off and tell the truth but he can't hurt Yangyang like that either. He was innocent in all of this. He did nothing wrong, it was Renjun who wronged him by accepting a date in the first place when he knew his heart would never be in it.

Yangyang is being a good sport. He's been trying to start a conversation with the other since they got in his car but to no avail.
"Would you like to go home? You don't seem to really be here anyway." This snaps Renjun out of his daze.
"What no, I'm sorry I just.." Yangyang notices his panic and shushes him by covering his hand with his own.
"It's ok, i should have known that you weren't really in to this whole thing before. I just thought that maybe I could change your mind if I kept trying." Renjun sighs.
"I'm sorry, I have been in love with someone since, well I don't know, I think we were still kids. I shouldn't have agreed to go out with you ever, no offense. You are such a nice guy and given other circumstances I could see myself dating someone like you but my heart isn't in it." Yangyang smiles kindly.
"Tell me about him?" He asks watching Renjun's shocked expression.
"Really?" He asks, watching the other nod.
"Uh, well he's the sweetest person. He's always taken such good care of me and treated me so well. He always leads with his heart. No matter what the situation he goes in heart first." Saying this makes him choke up, knowing he is probably so hurt right now.
"I was going to tell him today, I had finally decided that but then you called." Yangyang winces.
"I'm sorry, shit I messed everything up didn't I? Is that who you were talking to?" Renjun nods.
"You did nothing wrong, I'm the bad one here. I could have done so many things differently but I didn't and now I think I've hurt him and you too." He wipes his eyes as he can't help but cry.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you guys can work it out and I'll be fine. I thank you for your honesty. Some would have just walked away without an explanation and I think this is really kind of you. You aren't bad, you were scared and confused and you have every right to feel those feelings. Just call him, go to him, whatever. Things will work out I'm sure." Renjun chuckles through his tears.
"I don't know what I did to deserve such nice people in my life. Thank you for being so understanding, I really appreciate that."

Renjun leaves feeling a lot lighter. His heart still hurts but he at least doesn't feel any guilt, he left with only a promise to be friends. He thinks he can handle that. So with a new determination he will go home and call Haechan.

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