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"How are you doing?" Chenle asks as he walks into the cafe. It's been a full week since Haechan left and everyone is concerned about Renjun. He isn't showing anything really.
"I'm fine." He says before walking back into his office. He knows they care about him and he appreciates it but he's tired of being asked. He doesn't want to talk about it. It hurts a little less if he doesn't think about it, but in all honesty Haechan is on his mind more often than not. He pulls his phone from his pocket and looks at the secret pictures he took of Haechan sleeping on the beach and smiles softly. He hurts so much right now that he feels like he could break but he is going on the slim hope that maybe when Haechan finds himself, he will still want him. He works diligently, day in and day out. He still has a day off scheduled here and there but he's working all of Haechan's shifts too, even if it means a double for him. It's tiring but he could never hire someone to take his place and it helps to keep him from dwelling on his absence.
As the days wear on and he gets more sad the others are angry. Haechan left his phone in his apartment, apparently finding himself means completely shutting out everyone. They are all having such a hard time watching Renjun suffer.
Finally after gettting midway through the second week Mark catches him. He walks in for a morning shift and finds him with his head down on his desk and wet eyes.
"Hey Junie." He says softly. He looks up slowly and tries to stop but he's already been caught in a vulnerable position. Mark gets on his knees in front of his chair and holds his hands.
"I j-just m-miss him so much." Mark nods and hugs him tightly.
"I know, we all miss him. He will come back, don't worry." Marks says softly.
"B-but i l-love him. I love him and I miss him and I want him here. What if he gets hurt? What if he gets a boyfriend? What if he figures out that he never really did love me?" He asks softly. Mark shushes him and continues to hold him.
"I wish he would at least call, I wish he would have taken his phone." Mark hums and rocks back and forth.
"I'll call his father later and see if he has been updated, he must have at least called him." Renjun nods into his shoulder.
"Thank you." He whispers.
As soon as he's calmed down some Mark offers to go up front and open. Renjun stays in back to collect himself and wash his face.

Everyday he gathers his strength and gets through it. It's not only the mental anguish of not knowing if his best friend is safe or even coming back, or wether he wants to be more than best friends, it's also the physical toll the extra work is putting on him. His dad had gotten a call when he was in Italy but he never said where he was going next and now it's been six weeks.

When Jeno's phone rings, he doesn't bother answering since he doesn't know the number but when it rings a second time he picks up. It turns out to be a FaceTime call from the one and only. Haechan says hi and waves excitedly but Jeno is less than enthusiastic.
"I'm sorry. Are you all mad at me?" He asks while Jeno purses his lips and nods.
"You know, if you were trying to hurt him? Make him feel pain? You've succeeded." Jeno says directly.
"What do you mean? This trip was about me, it was for my healing. I needed to get away." He says looking down with shame.
"He is suffering Haechan. He won't hire anyone else because it's your position. He won't let any of us take a shift because he caused this, his words not ours." Haechan frowns.
"He's exhausted, he's worried about you. It's not healthy. I get that you felt you needed to do this and that's fine but the least you could have done is call and let us know you were fine." Jeno sighs.
"You are fine right? Is everything ok?" Haechan smiles softly and nods.
"Yes, but I miss you all like crazy. Especially him, can I see everyone who is working now?" He asks so Jeno calls them over, one being Jaemin and the other, of course Renjun.
"Hey guys come here?" He asks loudly. Both head over and he shows them the phone. Renjun makes eye contact with Haechan and his world stops. He feels light headed and leans on the table. Jaemin notices and holds onto him.
"Have you eaten yet today?" He whisper shouts at him. Renjun looks horrified at the phone screen, not wanting Haechan to see him like this.
"Stop, I'm fine. Hi Haechanie." He says before he starts to choke up and has to walk away.
"You should come home now. Even though we all want to strangle you, we love you and miss you." Jaemin says.
"At least talk to us more while you find yourself." Haechan nods and looks seriously at Jeno.
"Why won't he talk to me?" He asks in a whisper.
"He's too busy crying." Haechan looks down again, clearly troubled.
"Let me see him again?" He asks, so Jeno turns the phone and he can see Renjun being hugged by Jaemin and it hurts him to see him in this much pain.
"He's not eating well or sleeping, he feels so much guilt. He knows how you feel, well at least how you felt. Wether you still love him or not is your thing to figure out but he's sorry he hurt you and all this is doing is hurting him."
"I have to go, I have to give my friend his phone back. Tell everyone I said hi and I love them and I'll see you all soon, ok?" Haechan can't react to anything he said because it's too much to take in at the moment. Jeno just nods and can't help choking up himself when he hangs up.
"Fucking asshole." He says as he wipes his eyes. Luckily for Renjun it was time for a shift change anyway and he is so ready to go home. He has a day off tomorrow, the first in a long time and he is planning to sleep the whole day away.

When he gets home he tries to eat a little dinner and manages to get some in. His stomach is always in knots but he is so relieved to know that Haechan is doing fine. He's been so worried about his health and safety. It's nice to see his face and know he's well. He showers and gets in his pajamas. As soon as his head hits the pillow his eyes start closing.

When he wakes around noon the next day in Haechan's arms he cries.
"Fuck you, go away." He cries.
"I'm sorry Junie." He shakes his head and closes his eyes.
"No, stop! I know you aren't real, I know when I wake up you won't be here so just go away." He feels a hand touch his cheek and he cries harder.
"Every time this happens, every time I dream this I have a panic attack, I don't want you to be a ghost. I want you to come back. Please stop." He cries himself to sleep even as he feels Haechan's warmth, he knows it isn't real. He knows he's not really there and it hurts more than anything. He hates these dreams the most.

When he wakes again with a start after another two hours he looks around his empty bed and sighs. He takes comfort in the fact that he seen him yesterday and smiles softly. He knows he's ok. He really hates those dreams.

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