Ephemeral

CHAPTER 13 [ THE MINDLY CHAOS]

Emilia's POV

I was feeling as if floating in a slumber of velvetty white clouds with a bright rheumy warmth making me almost feel as if I was in a calm seat of heaven.

But the oxymoron of the feeling being very unfamiliar but familiar at the same time made a deep churn in my throat and stomach.

DARKNESS...

Again I felt myself drowning into the very known ocean with whirly sounds that exasperated my ears and found myself wrapped in a blanket of a matte sky blue waters. Far out somewhere ; there glows a bright things lightly heading towards me.

Those eyes ; identifiable with every and any of my breaths. SHINING brightly with emerald shade in between and maroon rings surrounding the eyes.

Luminoso !

Again his hand gesturing towards mine for both of us to escape. Holding about the situation I hand mine small ones into his and feel myself floating towards the surface.

DARKNESS...

The warmth I was surrounded with in my dreams makes me feel its presence right now but that case is just like practically a donkey flying with wigs on whilst singing a lullaby with a fairy on his back for a case of me for the sake that it completely is out of world thingy:/

{Author : Seriously I should be declared illegal with these thoughts ☠}

I slowly opened my eyes and I was meet with a soft cotton like layer on my back which I concluded to be a BED !!

huh !!

My eyes went on wandering about the surroundings which made me have a sleep on ; that I was in a foreign room. After examining a few things around the room my eyes landed to be brought into the glossy ones that lurred around into the bright emerald coloured with maroon rings around

Luminoso !!

My subconscious mind screamed
I squished my eyes ; not being able to gulp down the reality I was lost into.
But to my dismay ; I was right ; It was luminoso.

When I again took a glance on his eyes ; suddenly my brain felt as if on fire and a throbbing pain started excruciating red fire emerged behind my vision and next second I know was to fall into a dark land

AGAIN!........

THE DREAM

I was walking in a dark room not knowing where it ends and where it started suddenly hearing some voices

"She's good for nothing attention seeking bitch"

"She must be just like those druggy scumbags "

Why am I hearing these voices which are nothing but new and old at the same time? Not knowing the answer to this question I started walking further but again..

"I promise to protect her with everything and every cost of my life"

"I hope I could keep my promise to keep her safe and wish the same for others"

What do these voices mean !!

It feels as if I have heard them somewhere but at the same time I don't know anything about these .........

These strange experiences ; all being present like a rollercoaster in my life make me wonder about a question .

WHY ME ?

All the kinds of imaginations ; the dreams ; my life ; everything ......WHY ME ?

Seriously now I'm tired of everything that has been happening since I was born because this is not a normal life how a teenager should live about. Feeling myself shallow about all the happenings that I'm being tackled by and the feeling of emptiness inside me. My life's moving like a pattern of Z- SCHEME , moving around non cyclic meaning ; unending mysterious events .

Although the difference between the chaotic equation of me and Z-SCHEME is the absence of light. Not the sun's ray light but the one that inspires to carry on and go ahead for your life with a positivity that is near to impossible. Since I became mature ; all I remember is feeling empty and incomplete.

As if drowning into a deep ocean , struggling to get ahold of the surface but at the same being confused with the decision to stop the immense struggle and drown down into peace or to just try a bit harder to reach the shore of a calm, peaceful, and successful life that might be waiting or finding me with a flash of life out there. Both of them requiring the same energy, compassion and courage. Tears have now refused to make their presence felt because maybe they are extinct due to it's overflow.

Before *he* was gone ; I was in a beautiful wonderland where I was being treaten like nothing but a royal princess who was never aware about the cruel world and it's sufferings that were waiting to embrace her in their devil arms. *He* was my knight in shining armour who would always be ready to kill every demon that even tried to land their eyes on me

But as they say ; everything comes to an end and so did my happiness or so called life did. After his death; I couldn't blame anyone but myself for the past that converted into an unspoken sutured history for me. Those evil eyes glossing with pleasure and happiness whilst seeing me in pain still haunts me every single time I close me eyes. I never believed in existance of monsters until I was 5 yet as said ; things, people, and time do change but for me they changed to an extent where the restoring force of mind and body could never retract to that extent again. 

Their evil smirks whilst I was yelping in pain and pleading them to stop are still the biggest nightmares of my life making a sick and twisted feeling in my stomach everytime. Those hazel eyes of his and pastel grey of hers never held any emotions as a normal human would do before torturing anytime to almost the extent I was dead. From my 5th birthday and till this date ; the biggest question of my life at the time is

What did I ever do to them to deserve this ?

Not to forget the mention but their usual words were

"Nobody wished that you useless brat was born" 

"You are nothing but unwanted, burden, and a stain to this world"

"Capable of nothing but creating chaos &problems and always whoring around like the bitch you are showing your true colours"

Next thing I know is feeling little splashes of something wet on my face which I came to know was water when my eyes are wide awake.

Author's note 

Hey guys

I really am sorry for again being irregular with updates but I swear I'm doing the best with all my efforts I can for the story 

As you have already read the chapter so.......you know that this one's a bit tearing but trust me it took me nothing to write this. The only problem I face is just not getting enough time to create much ideas and sum up all the content nicely and just y'know make some edits here and there but after a lot of struggle I finally make it to a single chapter within 2 days or so.

And this is not at all exaggerating about my pressures and load to write and create this but as a book reader I know the feeling when you have to read something and wait for the next puzzle piece to be published with a lot of patience. I really appreciate this.

All I want to conclude is do not get off beat about the story if the updates aren't much regular . Just be a bit patient and you'll make your ways through the book 

It's night rn

So bonne nuit ; à bientôt 

WORD COUNT :- 1300