GRIM REAPER¹, bellamy blake

102 ━━ forgiveness

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IONA STARED at him.

He was pretty; how could she not?

He could feel her staring, too, eyes fluttering open in order to look to his left, where she sat under a tree not too far away. He, on the other hand, was in the middle of a flower field, settled comfortably under the blazing sun.

"You stare too much," Bellamy said, loud enough so his companion could hear. It was just the two of them- they didn't have to fear anything here. "Like what you see or something?"

Iona scoffed. As if she'd ever give him the satisfaction of hearing her agree to that statement- though it was true. His shirt had been discarded, allowing him to soak up the sun, his muscles flexing right in her face.

Still, she lied, "Or something."

Bellamy chuckled, glancing at her from the side. She looked at him longingly, like she had something on the tip of her tongue, yet she just couldn't say it.

"What's wrong?" Bellamy questioned, rising from his place on the ground and wandering over to her. He joined her in the shade, pressed up against one of the trees. "You look kind of... glum, I guess."

Iona hesitated before turning her body to him, "We need to talk."

He knew what she meant. She wanted to talk about the massacre, about Lexa's death- about him breaking her trust and keeping secrets from her. She wanted to talk about them and if they were truly alright.

Bellamy sighed. He leaned back against the tree; the bark dug into his skin but he didn't care. He stared forward, unwavering, before eventually nodding.

Iona wasn't sure where to start. She'd had a lot of time to think inside her head- about what she wanted, what she's done, what Bellamy did. Iona had processed most of it and thought about what exactly she wanted- no, needed- to share.

Well, that happened to be everything. Iona needed to come clean. She needed to be truthful with him just as she expected from him; so, although very slowly, like she was forcing herself into it, she began.

"I thought that being mad at you would make me feel better," Iona murmured quietly, staring at her hands placed in her lap, "but then I realized I didn't have the right to be mad at you; because, truthfully, I did it too."

Bellamy swallowed thickly, staring at her with saddened eyes. She was vulnerable for him all over again, but this time, he wasn't sure kissing her would make it all better.

Instead, he had to sit there and watch her fall apart.

"I didn't want to ever tell you this because I thought you'd hate me but... even after what you did I didn't hate you, and I thought there- well, there might've been a chance," Iona licks her lips, the memory clearly wounding her as she thought back to it.

"You don't have to tell me," Bellamy whispers, but she shakes her head.

"I need to tell you this. You deserve to know," Iona then took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I destroyed a whole village out of pure... spite. I thought that killing the bad people there would make everything better- but once I started, I couldn't stop."

Iona gnawed on her bottom lip, "I killed... hundreds. Adults, elders- children. I should've been executed for my crimes. Lexa wouldn't let me go, though. Insisted I was a good person under it all and covered up my crime."

Iona thought Bellamy would hate her.

She'd feared telling him the truth since the moment she first remembered the incident- she even hated herself. Yet, staring at him, with those pretty eyes that held no hint of judgment, she faltered.

He didn't hate her. He didn't find her disgusting. He wasn't so repulsed by her prior actions that the current love he held for her disappeared- no. 

Bellamy's look didn't even change. He merely stared at her with lovestruck eyes, a softness to them that he'd never really shown before, with one of those cute, loving smiles on his pretty face.

"You don't- you don't hate me?" Iona murmured in question.

Bellamy took her hands, pulling them up to his mouth and planting comforting kisses upon them and shaking his head, "I could never hate you."

Iona breathed out a sigh of relief, "Good, because I can't stand being mad at you."

Bellamy chuckled quietly. He held her hands in his, rubbing the back of them soothingly, and looking at her lovingly. He leaned in, stealing a precious kiss from her lips with a gentle touch- as if she was fragile.

In that moment, they knew.

Whatever the next journey entailed, they knew they could face it together- beat it together.

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