This is a spin-off of several works I have completed or are currently underway.
This series of short stories will follow a few of my characters through the rehabilitation process until they have their moment of clarity.
Some issues dealt with in thi...
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I hate touching wet food.
Gritting my teeth, I tried to ignore the churning in my stomach as scrubbing the pan in hand. Somehow Charlotte had gotten the easy job, the loading of the dishwasher.
Though she was quick to remind me that I owed her, so maybe it wasn't really a mystery.
"Group therapy in five minutes," Ms. Wiley said, peeking her head around the kitchen corner.
It felt as though I was teetering on the edge. And I could feel the chasm inside of me splitting. "Okay."
A soft hand rested on my shoulder. "Relax your shoulders, those tensed muscles are going to give you a headache."
Charlotte wasn't wrong, but it didn't help either. "Yeah. I know."
She closed the dishwasher. "Do you want me to wait for you?"
"No."
She squeezed my shoulder again. "Okay." And then she disappeared.
Resting my elbows on the counter, I took a few deep, calming breaths. Every part of my body ached. And there didn't seem to be a relief in sight.
A knock on the doorframe, Ms. Wiley peering around again. "It's time to head upstairs, I'll finish up in here."
Dragging myself up the stairs, I could feel the ache deep within my muscles growing.
I took a seat on the floor in the group therapy room, my back resting against the wall as I worked to regulate my breathing.
I'd long given up trying to hide the fact that stairs were my mortal enemy. Between the feeding tube, the Bulimia Bloat, and the constant aches and pains, being out of shape didn't make the top list anymore.
The session today with Dr. Granger was focused on rebuilding. Rebuilding the lives we'd had before the eating disorder had taken over. Rebuilding a life outside of these walls.
"How can we focus on rebuilding something we never had?" Alex questioned.
"Please elaborate," Dr. Granger said.
"I don't think I've ever had a life without an eating disorder," Alex said. "So to say that we can rebuild that is a contradiction. I can rebuild the life I used to have, but that life included counting calories and macros and micros and body checks and-"
Dr. Granger held up her hand. "Some of this may be triggering for other folks in the room at this point in their recovery. Not to stop you, I welcome and encourage open debates. But let's keep from naming specifics."
"My point is," he continued, "that I can't rebuild the life that I had because it doesn't add up with Recovery."
"When you think about rebuilding, the first thought you have is relapsing," Dr. Granger said. "And I think that's an important distinction to make. I want you to think about what traits and characteristics you want to take with you into the rebuild of your life, and which ones we can leave behind."
