Being Enough: 19

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*trigger warning*

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*trigger warning*

"Hey, Parker?"

He didn't turn around from the stove, where he was making what looked like taco meat. "Yeah?"

"Can I sit out here with you?"

This time he turned to face me. "Sure."

I took a seat one of the barstools, folding my hands on the table.

I tried to keep my breathing under control as my inner arms burned with anticipation.

Four days clean was the longest I'd made it so far. And if I could make it through today, I'd reach another record.

Five days clean meant I moved up a level at Serenity Bay, which meant that I could choose my own classes instead of being forced to go to the ones picked by Nurse Kool-Aid.

"I have a question," Parker said.

So the question-and-answer session was already starting. "I don't really want to answer."

He ignored me, per usual. "What are your thoughts about next school year?"

"I don't tend to think that far in advance," I said. "If I make it another day, I'm usually pretty content with that."

Parker nodded. "Okay, fair enough."

I began snapping the rubber band against my wrist as the urge grew stronger.

If Parker heard it, he didn't acknowledge it, instead returning to stirring the taco meat. "I was thinking that maybe we could move to Tallahassee together."

"And what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "I have to go to school, Parker. Unless you plan on homeschooling me."

He chuckled. "I'm barely getting through my Chem work as it is."

"Then what's the Master Plan?"

He moved the ground beef off the burner, flipping the stove off. "Hard shells or soft?"

"I'm not hungry."

He didn't acknowledge my answer, grabbing the hard shells.

"Soft shells are for burritos anyways," he said, as he reached into the refrigerator to pull out toppings for the tacos.

He tossed me a frozen bag of corn from the freezer.

"You want me to make corn?" I asked.

"For your arms, Lee. It should help."

I rested my inner arms on the frozen corn, numbing the burning sensation away.

I was determined to make it to five days clean.

Parker made himself a taco before sitting next to me. "So back to Tallahassee."

"Right, you want us to move up there."

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