The Art Of Series

Being Enough: 17

I reached up to knock on the apartment door, letting my hand fall back by my side as the door clicked open.

"Lee?" Emily asked. She glanced down the hallway and then looked back at me. "I didn't know you were-"

"Yeah, Parker doesn't either."

She stepped to the side, extending her hand in. "Well don't just stand there, come in." She glanced down the hallway again as I stepped past her. "Did you walk here?"

"I took an Uber, thanks for your concern."

She shut the apartment door behind me as Emmett came sauntering out of the back hallway.

"Was it the pizza?" Emmett asked. "Because I really-" He stopped midsentence when he saw me.

"Sorry to disappoint," I said.

Emily began to usher me toward the couch. "Where does Parker think you are?"

"Guess you'll have to ask him when he wakes up."

Parker had been sleeping for nearly 18 hours. As I'd predicted, he hadn't been sleeping. And he crashed, hard.

Emily took a seat on the coffee table, facing me. "Why are you here?"

That's a good question.

I didn't answer her, and she didn't continue to press for information.

"Parker is going to freak the fuck out," Emmett said. "I'm texting him now."

"I'm going to die," I said.

Emily exchanged glances with Emmett, concern evident on both of their faces.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" Emmett asked.

Because the demons tell me so.

Not in the sense that I see or hear demons, but in the sense that I can't stop the black hole that continues to drag me deeper into my depression each and every day.

I can't escape the black hole. Not alone.

"I can't control it," I said, quietly. "The depression, the suicidal thoughts, the self-harm... any of it."

"Do you want to?" Emmett asked.

I didn't have an answer to that.

Did I want to keep from dying? Did I want to fight to live a life I was unhappy in?

No.

But I wanted to fight for all that my life could be, if I gave it the chance. I wanted to live, just differently.

And I didn't know how.

"I could," I said, answering Emmett's question. "I could want things to be different."

"Why don't you talk to Parker about this?" Emily asked.

Because I've put him through enough.

Emmett sat down next to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Why don't I call Parker over here? And the four of us can talk about what you want."

I don't know what I want.

"And if you don't know," Emily added, "then we can figure it out together."

"That's how this works," Emmett said. "We're a team. We always have been."

I found myself nodding. "If you guys aren't done with me yet."

Emmett shook his head. "Not a chance, kid."

The gang's getting back together! What did you guys think of the chapter? Any surprises?

I know I didn't upload on Saturday, but t was for good reason. If you follow me on social media, you'll know that I had to leave my Disney training on Saturday to go to urgent care...

I was so incredibly sick and today is the first day I've actually gotten out of bed for a bit. Just to go out and sit on the couch BUT STILL, improvement.

I honestly feel like I've been dragged by a truck, so it'll probably be another week or so until my energy is back and I start feeling like myself again.

Teaser: and we're back to Serenity Bay... with some changed mindsets this time maybe?

This book will update again on Saturday.