Chapter Eighteen

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Saturday

When we walk in, the catering staff are still setting up the table and I put Dacre's gift on the table. There's one from me with baby stuff in and one from Jess, who was starting to catch on that something else was going on.

She could tell that Maisie was acting a little different, maybe a little more angry and a little more emotional in general or like a lot more emotional.

She kept mentioning it and waiting for my reaction. I attributed it all to her being stressed about meeting Dacre's extended family, which she was and so was I. I'd met them before, when I was quite young, I do remember that they were a very nice group of people but they liked to drink and party hard.

I was away from that lifestyle now and even though I shouldn't think about him right now, Donovan was moving away from that too and if I was the current object of his desire, that made my life harder as well.

Somehow I knew, from my own behaviour and the fact that I'd known many people who went through the same phases as me, that withdrawal that it would not be as easy and clear cut that everyone in his life made it out to be and I knew that right now, he was probably contemplating a drink.

He had been irritable lately and also very, very mean.

Eventually, guests start arriving and nearly everyone is at the party, except one key member of the Shepherd's, Donovan.

He eventually stumbles in and I mean stumble because he's drunk, I can smell the alcohol and everyone else is way too involved in their own world, and it's not their fault, to see that Donovan is wasted.

He goes to the bar and orders a drink and the bartender complies, I think Donovan looks twenty-one for sure.

I know I didn't but I had a fake ID, so that worked and I got served. I still do have a collection of fakes, I have to buy cigarettes some way.

I go over to the bar and stand next to him.

"Get a mojito for my friend here." Donovan says to the bartender.

"No, no, I'll take it virgin." I ask. "Should you be drinking right now?"

Donovan scoffs.

Our drinks come out and the bartender hands me my drink and I down it, only when I swallow it, do I feel the alcohol.

"That wasn't virgin." I say to the bartender and he covers his mouth and says sorry.

"No, don't worry about it. Was that a single or double shot?" I'm really scared right now.

"This has no alcohol in it, so I'd say, you got a quadruple shot." Donovan is drunk, but not drunk enough to not see that he's not drinking alcohol anymore.

"I'm so sorry. Can I do anything to apologise?" The bartender is panicking.

"No, genuinely, it's fine. You're not in any trouble with me and I'll make sure he doesn't give you any shtick either. I'll be back." I walk away and find Jess.

She sees me and pulls me to the side.

"Girl, you're flushed red. Did you drink?" She asks and I nod.

"The bartender gave me a quadruple shot. What if I want more? I don't want to do this all again." I start to feel my chest start to constrict.

"You'll be fine, okay? I'll come with you to the toilet if you want?" She says and I shake my head. She knows I like to be alone.

"If I need you, I'll call you." I say and I sit there, for hours.

People come in and out and I'm just sat there, waiting for something to happen.

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