||DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Owl House and its characters! All of that belongs to Dana Terrace, her team, and Disney||
||This story will have He/Him pronouns (and anything related to that, which you can change the pronouns for yourself), cursing, and movie/TV/videogame references. It will not, however, have NSFW. If you don't agree with any of this, you have the option to leave||
◈The Not-So Smooth Criminal◈
◈S1:E9◈
Published: ~June 17th, 2023~
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This chapter begins during the early school hours of Hexside. Various items are shown on a table, which nail clippers (cheese grater), a whoopie cushion (chip bag with a flip phone as a clip), a food bowl (umbrella hat with leaves inside), a weapon (just a Rubik's Cube), and a "pay-per-clorp" (that's paper clip). One dark-skinned witch reaches out to grab the last object.
"Behold, the wonders of the Human Realm." Gus boldly declared. "This little fellow is one of their most valued objects. It aids in the compiling of printed wisdom, the scratching of gunk under your nails, and my favorite, it even mimics the sounds of the human ocean!"
The boy goes on to twang the paper clip.
"Ah, the Human Realm. So beautiful!" Gus walks over to the chalkboard. "It's safe to say that the pay-per-clorp is a stunning testament to human ingenuity. Any questions?"
Unlike Gus' happy-go attitude, the students behind him struggled to pay attention to a single word that the boy was saying. The students, Bo, Eileen, and one from the Bard Track, are all nodding off and drooling on the table that they sat against. Another student sat on the far right and held a clear grimace on his face, eventually raising his hand.
"Ah, our newest member, Mattholomule!"
"Um... Augustus, is this what the president of the Human Appreciation Society thinks passes as 'Human Artifacts'?"
Gus' face shifts into one of confusion as his new clubmate strolls leisurely next to him.
"Because at my old school..." Mattholomule rudely slides the artifacts, to which Gus struggles to keep it all in his hold. "...we had real treasures."
Mattholomule dumps his own "artifacts" onto the table and shows a cellular phone, a human skull, and a supposed shoe. The students, who were previously bored and tired, gain a rush of excitement and curiosity, crowding around the objects.
"So real! I wanna touch them!" Bo said.
"Go ahead! In my club, we didn't have any dumb rules." Mattholomule claimed.
Gus gasps and turns to his long list of red words, starting from forbidding roleplay as a human to wanting to examine real human blood and more.
"He didn't mean that..." Gus whispered into the list, as he lovingly caresses it.
The witch goes on to snatch the artifacts away from the club members, slamming them onto the table. "Well, this isn't your club! Thankfully."
YOU ARE READING
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