Endlessly

The Insurmountable Choice

"Are you courting any others, presently?" You peer over your book at the prince, a curiously playful little glint in your eyes. Your legs are tossed over his lap, the two of you rest comfortably curled up in one of the window stools of the library together.

Just over two weeks has passed since your adventure together in the woods, and the two of you have been quite inseparable since.

He snorts at your question, eliciting a confused sort of glare from you.

"Forgive me- it's just that I never considered my attentions toward you as an act of courting. I simply found myself faced with an unbelievably beautiful woman who is wildly intelligent, listens to my silly ramblings, and makes me laugh. A woman who isn't afraid to simply be in my company doing not much else. So many people seem to have a fear of silence. You, like me, do not. I find myself yearning to be in your company; missing you... more than anyone I've met before, to be entirely truthful." He muses.

Oh.

At first, and only very briefly- his words sting. He's not courting you? But quite quickly, you allow all of his words to sink in. He finds himself yearning to be in your company more than anyone he's met before he'd said.  

He continues, "You actually remind me a bit of myself at a younger age. Prodigious in playing along to fit in, playing the role to perfection, but desperate on the inside to rid myself of the rules, the expectations, all of it." He leans down and kisses one of your legs resting in his lap.

Quite unexpectedly, his words hurt again, and you find yourself feeling fiercely defensive. "I'm not playing a role to fit in. I am who I am." You pull your legs off of him and slam your book shut.

"Gersemi, I did not intend to insult you, I was simply stating that we are both complex people- there is more to us than is seen on the surface level."

"You are the sorcerer- the trickster. Not me." You hiss. Before you realize what you're doing, you stand to your feet and begin to storm out of the library.

"Gersemi! Wait! I'm sorry, I did not mean to-"

You deliberately slam the library door shut as hard as you can to cut him off. To make your point.

And what point are you making, exactly?

You race through the palace halls with tears in your eyes.

What the hel is the matter with me?

As you're about to turn down the hallway that leads to your chambers, a guard shouts in your direction. "Lady Gersemi! I've been looking for you. Your parents await your presence in the communications room."

"Oh. Yes, I'll just be on my way then." You brush your unprompted tears away, and follow the guard.

This time, when you enter the communication room, there are several other guests using the portals to speak to their family and friends that are on distant realms.

You keep your head down as you work your way to the portal that is the farthest away from everyone else.

"Lady Gersemi." You call out to the magical device. In an instant, a crystal-clear image of your parents comes into view.

"There's my little bird." Your father practically sings.

"Hi, daddy." You grin at the sight of him; your father, your hero- and your tears begin to dry.

"How are you sweetie?" Your mother leans in, causing her hologram to stretch out in a bit of an odd way in your direction.

"I'm oka- good. I'm good." You have always been a terrible liar.