Endlessly

The Arcana

"That's... impossible." Your mother's tone is difficult to read. "If Loki is truly a frost giant-"

"I know." You reach for her hands, offering whatever comfort you can before continuing to explain. "The flowers that saved Hnoss- we only knew that they could help her after we realized that my conception wouldn't have been possible without them."

"Were you two trying to get preg-"

"Mother!" You cut her off with a tone far more scolding than you'd ever thought you'd use with her- your embarrassment rising in your cheeks.

"No matter." She brushes a nonexistent piece of lint from her dress, as though she's trying to brush off the uncomfortable feeling caused by her daughter snapping at her for prying. "You obviously aren't far along; you're not showing one bit." She tips her head back to examine you- your illusion.

"No, I'm not." You lie.

"I was the size of a bilgesnipe at only four months with you. I'll pray to the norns that you don't experience pregnancy like I did." Her eyes get lost in a distant memory.

"She could eat as much as a bilgesnipe, too." Your father winks. She swats him on the arm.

The room fills with uncomfortable silence that is somehow better than every single question you fear your parents are about to ask.

Aster is the one to break the silence. Your shoulders relax at the sound of his voice.

"I unfortunately have some urgent matters I must return too, so unless either of you have any questions for me-"

"Please, go and do what you must. Thank you for your time, my king." Your mother and father tip their heads in respect.

The tips of his ears turn pink at the title. "Please, just call me Aster." He gives an awkward half bow as he scurries from the room with Bragi on his heels.

Cowards. You smirk to yourself.

"I actually have a lot of paperwork to go through myself." Another lie. You rise from the table before your parents can protest, Loki quickly jumps up as well, helping you with your chair. "Please, feel free to stay in the palace as long as you'd like. I'll also inform the guards that the two of you are always welcome."

"Gersemi." Your heart stops when you meet your fathers teary gaze. "Please don't shut us out again. I... I am so grateful that you are happy."

You blink away the burning in your eyes. "I won't. I promise. Thank you for... understanding." Before the tears you can no longer hold back escape, you walk out of the room.

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You'd gone straight back to your chambers without saying a word. Loki hadn't said a thing, hadn't pushed. And when you'd crawled into bed, fully under the covers, he hadn't said anything either. He simply let you process.

It wasn't until the late afternoon sun began to duck beneath the tree line, that he spoke. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not sure."

"All things considered; I think the meeting with your parents went extremely well."

"That's just it." You finally roll over in bed, propping yourself up onto your elbows. "It went... too well. Like- like it wasn't them." You let out a puff of air. "I know that sounds crazy. I know I should be grateful."

"I think you scared the hel out of them."

You raise your brow at him.

"I think... When they found out just how much you'd been hiding from them, how much you were afraid to share with them, they also realized that it was their actions that made you feel the need to keep so much from them. I think they saw the effects of the standard they've held you to your entire life, and I think that they realized that they will never risk losing you again by behaving the way that they always have."

"Maybe you're right." You sit completely up in bed to face him. "I've gone my entire life terrified of disappointing them. I think in a way, it's easier to believe that this isn't real... that it wasn't really them in that room today, rather than believing that it could've been this simple all along."

"I love you." Is all he says to you, before sliding onto the bed and wrapping you tightly into his arms. The familiar scent of him floods your senses; spearmint, sage, and something else... something like citrus and honey that reminds you of home. It's as though part of your realm has been absorbed into him- changed him into a slightly different version of the man you met on Asgard so many months ago.

"I love you, too." You lean up, placing a delicate kiss on his lips.

"I got you something, when I returned to Asgard." He reaches into his pocket. "I've been waiting for the right moment to give it to you."

You shift in his lap, turning to face him.

Dangling from his fingertips is a nearly transparent crystal, wrapped in a dainty golden chain. Its colorless, empty state is something you've never seen before, but- the shape of it, you immediately recognize. It's like a perfectly clear snowflake, six sided with each edge coming to a vicious point. It's absolutely gorgeous and no larger than the size of your thumbnail. Apart from its lack of color, it looks exactly like the necklace Laufey had let Loki hold onto while she whisked you away into a hallway of her palace to talk.

"This is my arcana." He swallows. "Well, it used to be- before I learned to wield my seidr without it." He grabs hold of your hand. "I'd like you to have it- to use it to help you learn to control your power, until you also learn to control your magic without it." He drops it into your palm and closes your fingers around it.

"Loki-"

"Please, Gersemi-" He cuts you off. "I know that you're already doing an incredible job with your magic, but this will just add a buffer... it will act as a conduit while you learn, increasing your power, but also keeping you safe."

"Of course, I'll use it." You place your free hand on top of his resting over your clenched fist. "It's not that... It's just- what did you risk in retrieving this?"

"It was no more than a brief detour. Nothing for you to fret about." He places a kiss against your crumpled brow, a silent way of telling you, "relax."

"We'll begin practicing with it tomorrow, after you've had a full night's rest." He twists his fingers around yours. "Hilund immediately started working on regrowing Jotunheim's lost vernonias upon the return of the Casket, and I believe that my m- that Laufey could be a considerable help to you while you're learning to wield your unprecedented type of seidr.

He'd nearly called Laufey his mom.

Your heart feels like it may sprout wings and flutter out of your chest when he speaks again.

"We must return to Jotunheim- for you to safely have the baby, as soon as physically possible."

"I can't- not just yet. I've made a promise to Aster to help him with something very important."

"Fine. You will complete this task and then immediately return to Jotunheim."

"Yes, sir."

Loki looks you up and down, a massive smirk spreading across his face.

"That was not meant to be sexual, you animal." You shove him in the chest. "Go away."

"Oh. I'm afraid I can never do that again." He pulls you tight against him, the sound in his chest nearly a purr as he kisses you. "What exactly is this task that's so important you must risk your safety to complete before we leave?