Heart Battles

Chapter 15- I'm sorry

"Thank you for a good day," I lean over the center console to give Rocky a hug.

 "My pleasure sweets. See you tomorrow," he squeezes me. I offer a friendly wave as he drives away.

"I'm home!" I shout walking in the front door. No one answers so I trudge to my bedroom. I throw my bag on the floor. Before going to turn on my shower. I strip down until I hear a groan come from my bed. I turn on my heels. Terrified. 

"Hey babe, sorry I gave you a fright," and realise it's Carter as the person sits up. I look at the floor by the bed and it seems he's naked too. 

"Baaabe!" I squeal, my reaction is rather slow. I run and jump on the bed, forgetting the shower is on. He pulls me onto his lap, the blankets separate our lower halves. We stare at each other grinning dumbly. Then we kiss. All my senses come alive. 

"I've missed you Rora," Carter says between kisses. He pulls my bottom lip into his mouth sucking. Causing a moan to escape my lips. Carter takes this as a chance to slip his tongue in my mouth. My hands are in his hair. His running up and down my back. 

"The shower," I mumble against his lips. He dips his head into my neck. 

"C'mon then," he whispers next to my ear. I shuffle off his lap. Standing as he climbs out of bed. "Damn," his voice is deep and low. He glances up and down at my body. "Your body was in my dreams," he murmurs before throwing me over his shoulders.

The water is nice and warm on my salty skin. Carter places me back on my feet before grabbing the bottle of shampoo. "He's awake," he murmurs, squeezing some onto his hand. 

"Is he okay?" I ask cautiously as Carter begins washing my hair. 

"He has brain damage. There's a possibility they won't be able to fix it. He's paralyzed," he murmurs lathering the shampoo until my hair is in a foamy bun on my head.

"Golly goodness Carter I'm so sorry, " I whisper tilting my head under the water. I feel awful. My boyfriend's brother is paralyzed and I kissed another guy. I am a terrible girlfriend. When all the shampoo is rinsed from my hair he starts conditioning it. "I have dance comp next week. I need to concentrate this week. I feel bad cause you have a lot going on. But I don't want to be distracted. I'm sorry Carter," I whisper. He replies by placing a kiss on my neck. 

"I understand beautiful," he breathes into my collar bone. He tilts my head under the water before bringing my face to his. "Smile. I know everything will be fine," His lips move over mine. His hands running up and down my back.

"But it's not Carter! Rocky and I kissed. Don't be mad at him. We were just both confused. But I can't lie Carter. I'm such a silly girl," I whimper taking a step back.

"ARGH! I know both of you aren't in the wrong. I get jealous, you two are the cutest best friends. I feel awful for leaving you. I'm sorry that I'm pushing you into this mess. Bryn will be fine when he's finished therapy. But you and Rocky will still be a big mountain for me to overcome. I know you two know each other better than anyone. You two will always be cute. There has always been a possibility you two could date. Just the way you look at each other kills me. I can't be mad at you. But I want to be. I don't want to be mad at him but I am. I want to punch him but it isn't his fault. Rora I'm scared. I don't deserve a girl like you, Rocky does. I feel like I've taken his place," he knocks his head against the shower wall. 

"I basically cheated on you Carter. I kissed Rocky and looked at him in ways I shouldn't. I have feelings I shouldn't Carter. I'm sorry. I am truly and completely and utterly sorry. Your brother is paralyzed and I kissed another guy. Upon that, I have to stop seeing you as much, because of dance. I've had feelings for you for so long. So strong it drives me insane. I stuffed up and I am a mess. What am I doing? You treat me so good and I treat you so bad," I wash my skin raw. My stress cause me to scratch my body until it is  nearly bleeding.

"Rora my beautiful girl. Breathe just breathe. I think while you prepare for dance you can take a break to think. I will understand either way. It is in no way your fault Rora. I made us go too fast. Bryn's near death didn't help. We can figure things out my darling. You mean more to me than the world and I haven't been the best boyfriend either. I know you are struggling with the fact I've had many girlfriends because of my past. But let me tell you, I never loved them and I know that makes me sound terrible. The old me was one horrible person. But believe me when I tell you- you are the best thing that has ever happened to me Rora.  I know everything is stressful right now. I don't want to be another cause to your stress. I'm giving you some breathing space. After comp we'll come back to this," He turns the water off and grabs us both a towel. He kisses my scratch scars, before walking back into my room.

I can't stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks. It starts as a sob then I'm blubbering like a baby. Carters kisses my head and hands me my favorite fat pants and one of his jumpers. He knows to leave me while I cry. The blubbering turns to sobs as I get dressed. The jumper smells like him and it makes my heart truly hurt. I stumble to my bed slightly blinded by my tears. I crawl into ball next to Carter who is laying on his back staring at the ceiling. I can see a tear trail down his cheek and it hurts me that I'm hurting him. We lie in silence. Our harsh breathing filling the air. The bed moves when Carter leans over and begins to braid my hair. The silence becomes bearable. When he's finished he lies back down. Crying always makes me sleepy and soon enough I feel sleep greeting me. A kiss is placed on my head before my blankets are pulled over me. "Goodnight Roar."

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Hey all. Sorry I have been hella busy. Hope all is well. Comment who you ship.