Before I Forget

Love the Way You Lie

"Eli—" Mom said, and Hawk looked up from his phone.

She had stopped in the doorway of his room, a hand still on the doorknob, as if she wasn't sure if she could enter or not - and Hawk felt a sting in his heart, remembering that he still hadn't apologized to Mom for their fight the day before.

"What is it? I told you I want to be alone." Hawk groaned, and turned his eyes back to his phone, scrolling through the Insta.

He was lying on his bed, still wearing the same clothes he had worn at the arcade, even if it was past bedtime already. He just didn't have the energy to even think about a shower, a change of clothes, a supper. Those things were so fucking normal, so fucking every day, and his life had changed tonight, something in him had changed forever. The rotation of the Earth had turned under his feet, and he was unstable, he was slipping, he didn't know who the Hell he was anymore.

The Cobras had wanted to go out and celebrate the victory, but Hawk had made some stupid excuse and come home instead. But here it wasn't any better. Here was Mom with her worried eyes and a frown on her forehead, asking questions Hawk didn't want to answer. Where were you, Eli? What happened? Why are you so upset? Why won't you talk to me, Eli, I just want to help.

There was nothing Mom could do to help. And had she known what Hawk had done, she would throw him out of the house, she would fucking renounce him.

"But Eli—"

"I'm just tired, I swear. Just leave me alone, Mom, please," he muttered, keeping his eyes on the phone, even if he wasn't really looking at it at all. All he could think about was the sound Demetri's arm had made when he had twisted it, the sharp snap of a breaking bone, the raw cries of pain that had left Demetri's lips.

Those sounds crawled into his stomach and made it turn, a sudden wave of nausea brought the acrid taste of bile into his mouth. He swallowed hard to push that down, but it did little good.

"It's not that. I just thought you'd like to know that Sky's at the door," Mom said, rather sharply, making Hawk finally look up from his phone. "She's asking for you—"

Hawk was on his feet in a heartbeat, rushing down the stairs the next. He didn't stop to think, he acted on instinct. Sky was at the door, and Hawk's heart was in his throat as he ran down the stairs, Sky was at the door, she wanted to see him—

And for a fleeting moment, he thought she was here because she knew how much he was hurting, how fucking scared he was. That somehow she had felt the pain of his breaking heart, and had come to save him, that she would open her arms to him, and she would hold him when he cried, she would tell him that she forgave him, that it was all okay, that it was all going to be fine—

His fragile, all-consuming hope died the moment he saw her.

Sky stood on the front steps, wearing a pair of jeans and a pink hoodie, hugging herself tightly as if to keep her insides from falling out. The tears on her cheeks, her red-rimmed eyes, revealed that she had been crying.

And just like always, it was his fault.

Hawk hesitated in the doorway, his stomach dropped to his feet as the mental image of him walking into Sky's welcoming arms was crushed. Sky looked at him like she wanted to kill him, with tears and fire in her green eyes, and Hawk desperately didn't want to hear what she had to say, not now, not ever.

"Hi—" he said, clearing his throat as his voice failed him. "What— what are you doing here?"

She didn't answer, just glanced at the door that was still open, and Hawk took that as a sign to step out and shut the door behind him, to give them some privacy. The night was surprisingly cool, the wind came from the Ocean, and it chilled Hawk even through his hoodie, it sent Sky's hair flying around her pale face in a way that called Hawk to pull the escaped strands behind her ear. But he couldn't do that, not anymore, so he just pushed his hands into the pockets of his sweats and licked his lips to repel the bitter taste that still lingered on them.