__________
Your Point of view.
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I'm sorry.
I slowly open my eyes. My head feels painfully heavy. I drew a breath in.
It is hard to breathe.
I recognize this room. Some days I would wake up and fall back to sleep. I don't want to face reality.
Days and nights passed, and I was all alone in that room. Left with nothing.
One morning, hearing fast footsteps, I rise from my bed.
I gasp.
"Major..."
No, don't say that.
"You can call me Y/n now." It hurts to talk.
Juuzou came closer and sat on my bed.
"Come to think about this; I never knew your name." He tilts his head, wondering how he never noticed that.
"I'm no one if not..." I lower my eyes, feeling my body tense up.
"If not Handler 22".
Juuzou looks at me with soft eyes.
"How did you know where I was?" I asked, not raising my head to look at him.
"After I turned down your offer the other day, I remembered I still owe you a treat. As luck would have it, I tried to find you and found out you were on a mission."
Purely by chance, huh?
"Y/n chan~" He quietly mumbled, making me glance at him.
"It's not your fault."
A sharp pain filled my chest. How can he be so... sympathetic?
"Can you please... give me a moment?"
He pressed his lips together, creating a thin line, before nodding and walking out.
I put both my hands on my head and broke down in tears. I was disgusted with myself. Guilt and shame fill my body.
He didn't come to visit me afterward. I can not blame him. After a week, they took down my bandages to reveal my new scars. One of them, the biggest one, was around my neck. It was a harsh line, darker than my skin, constantly reminding me of that night.
It wasn't new. Investigators lost parts of their body or their sanity constantly. I wasn't different.
"Ungrateful child" Those words echoed in my mind. Such a...pity.
***
"I'm sorry for this tremendous loss." Yoshitoki washuu started, "However, you know how it works. We must continue. Therefore..."
The door to his vast office opened, and two small girls walked in. I frown.
"Meet Emi and Yui, two new girls from project 22. They will replace your team."
Is this... a joke?
Is it that easy to erase everything from the last ten years?
I clenched my fits, and my jaw tightened.
I can't look at those girls...
"No," I murmured, downcasting my face.
"No?" Washuu raised an eyebrow.
I take a deep breath.
"I... can't be Handler 22 anymore."
"I don't think you understand what your saying-"
"I won't do it."I bow down. "Please accept my apologies."
"I see..."
After the meeting, I walked up to the rooftop to get some air.
Should I quit? It feels pointless... to keep fighting for nothing.
I put my elbow on the wire and my chin inside my palm. Nothing to fight for... is quite inscrutable.
I'm curious if Juuzou hates me.
"Excuse me, Handler - no. I mean, Y/n san. Can I have a moment?" A silvery voice asked.
I turn to meet Hanbee - Juuzou's partner.
With his long black hair, this very tall man looked at me with thoughtful eyes.
"May I?"
"Sure"
He puts a hand on his heart.
"Suzuya senpai predicted you would renounce your position, and he wanted to suggest you join his squad. Due to recent events, I know this matter may be ... sensitive, so he requested me to do it. Sometimes he struggles to deal with certain emotional situations."
I lean back on the wire.
"Is that so..." I sigh.
"I should... let go. I failed my loved ones. I don't feel I can ever redeem myself. I proved I'm no good" I closed my eyes for a moment.
It felt like suddenly it was hard to breathe.
Hanbee looked at me with pity in his eyes.
"Suzuya senpai... never let that stop him. He tries to become better each day. You could try."
Try, you say?
I could try.
"You are fond of Juuzou. His roguish behavior never bothers you?"
Hanbee smiled.
"I think you might discover another part in Suzuya senpai."
The wind blew more robustly, making my hair scatter around. I had yet to notice how long it got.
"In that case," I put a piece of hair behind my ear, "I accept the offer. I'll join Suzuya's squad."
Hanbee reached his hand out, and I accepted it.
No more project 22.
I hear a voice whispering something in my ear. I take a deep breath and ignore it.
You'll never truly let go of us, Major.
***
Handbee and I walked into Juuzou's office.
To my surprise, it was bigger than mine. It had huge windows, a large table in the middle, and some more tables for the members to work on next to the window. Juuzou sat on a chair beside a ridiculously big table, chewing candy.
His eyes filled with joy when he looked up at us.
"I didn't think you would agree," He honestly remarked, putting his papers away.
"Me either," I answer, rubbing my thumbs together behind my back.
"How do you feel?"
"Mostly...confused. I don't understand why you would offer that."
"I had a feeling that's what Shinohara would do."
I look up at him, surprised.
He puts both elbows on his desk, his chin resting on his wrists. His eyes were studying me closely. He looked pleased with my facial expression.
"What the doctor said about your physical condition?" He questioned.
"I'm fine. I need to get back into the battleground," I answer.
"Good~" He grins. There was this strange feeling I started to notice.
I was surprised by how much he progressed and achieved quickly. It was much more than what I had made in ten years.
"Is everything okay?" He tilted his head again.
"I'm just impressed by you."
His face lightens up.
"To hear that from you..." he murmured to himself.
I felt like he was mocking me, but I smiled.
YOU ARE READING
Fine line
Fanfiction'He used to tell me I should keep you close. He said you are like me, that there is a fine line between us. I never understood him, but I'm trying.' Shinohara's message to Juuzou before the owl attack was that you need each other. You could not be a...
