Trust and Instinct | Vampire Academy

Chapter 22

Lissa, Rose and Adrian sat on one of the benches on the boat, thinking of questions they could ask the scholar. Or mostly Lissa and Adrian, Rose was just sitting with them, listening in and giving ideas from time to time.

Alina brainstormed with them for a couple of minutes until she saw Dimitri have stayed outside for quite some time. So she stood up from the bench, out onto the deck towards Dimitri as he looked out into the night sky.
Dimitri heard Alina’s footsteps before she could announce herself, he turned to look at her, a soft smile shined towards her as she walked closer to him.

A cold breeze blew over the two and Alina shivered before she took a long step towards Dimitri, wrapping her arms around his middle, hiding away from the wind and seeking his warmth.

Dimitri giggled at her as he wrapped his arms around her shoulder, giving some of his heat to her as she leaned into his side.

Both stayed silent, watching the moon glow over the water and the far away stars glittering. It made Alina wonder how many stars they would be able to see if it weren’t for the city lights and then her mind wondered. What life would be like if it turned out differently. If different types of people didn’t try to conquer others who didn’t agree with their “Logic” or their ways of life.
Like Moroi and Dhampirs.

“Have you ever thought about how your life would turn out to be if you weren’t meant to be Guarding me. If you could’ve stay with you family?”

Dimitri stayed quiet for a while and sighed before he answered. “I’m afraid I wouldn’t be the man I am today if I stayed.”

Alina frowned to herself, confused by what he meant by it. “What do you mean?”

“Without the rules of the academy, I would have turned out like… him.” His voice was dark, but Alina heard the sadness underneath the darkness.

Alina looked up at him, and he saw the worry and confusion in her eyes. “My Royal father." He cleared it up for Alina but she still didn’t know what he meant by it. “To put it simply, he would take out his anger and frustration on my mother…” Dimitri looked unsure of himself as he talked but he kept on talking. “Anyways, when I was old enough and I started to feel all of those years of anger toward him pouring out of me, I started to hurt him.”

A breath caught in Alina’s throat, she was shocked to hear what Dimitri’s childhood was like. She turned, stepped out from underneath his arm and stood in front of him, leaning her back against the bars.

The darkness started to disappear from his face when she looked up at him, he calmed down.

“That is why I never think about what life could have been, if this or that didn’t happen. I’m just grateful for what I have now. Because without the code of the Guardian’s life, I don’t think I would be able to keep that thing, that anger, in check.” He said painfully as he pushed one of his fingers against his chest.

Towards the monster in his cage, silent but still there.

“Because if I was able to choose what I wanted to do with my life… freedom, if I let myself free, if I let this inside of me free…” Dimitri looked away from her, over her head, “freedom scares me to death.”

Alina sighed, how was she going to tell him of all the things she found about them? How was she going to change his way of thinking if he still thought he was a monster to be contained.

“Or it did.” Both Alina and Dimitri looked back at each other, both had that cherishing softness in their eyes. “Until… know.” Dimitri finished as he leaned his head against hers.
Hope, it was always there.

Dimitri pulled his head back with a goofy smile, “But if I were able to choose, I would decide to get a big, fluffy dog.” Dimitri teased.

Alina’s mouth fell open, shocked by his teasing. She hit her fist into his chest, with an uncontrolled smile. “I said that to you in confidence.” She said as she dramatically turned her back to him, “Now I feel betrayed.” She said like a little child, folding her arms over her chest.