Breaking stereotypes

Chapter-22

Mid July~
June past in a blink of eye. We met some days, texted some nights till it was morning while some days we were too busy to even say a hello. All of these became part of our daily lives.
I keep my feelings to myself. Our tension continues time to time. He gets weirder sometimes. I don't think too much into it. I promised myself not to ruin our friendship.
One thing I learned about Adya last month. She have difficulty fitting in school too. It's not like she doesn't have friends but. . She reminds me of my past self. Both her and Ryan reminds me of my past self in some way or the other. Even though three of us have complete different personalities, at some point we're the same. We pull each other.
~
It's Adya's summer vacation and we are on a beach today. She seems very happy, actually all of us are. As a child I always wanted to go to beach with my parents and siblings but as I grew up, reality hit and I just buried all of my silly wishes deep inside. I did plan on coming here alone but never thought I would come with someone. There are families, group of friends and couples around us and it feels like we fit in all of these categories. It's cute and embarrassing. Ryan doesn't seem as dense as before nor is he as insecure as before. Thanks to me!
I feel like he is accepting himself just as I am. Thanks to him!
We ate ice creams and watermelon, drank coconut water, clicked lots of photos in our mobile phones and Ryan's camera, played many seaside games, built sand castles, in short had all kinds of fun which we never had in our lives.
I love them. WE LOVE EACH OTHER. I can totally feel it. It's so pure and comforting.
Me and Adya even wear matching yellow summer dresses, shoes and hairbands. Ryan? In his casual white and blue looking hot as always. We put a cat-ears headband on his head and he doesn't resists. He looks cuter. We all look cuter than usual.
Adya meets a girl around her age and becomes friends with her. We leave her to be with her for a little time as me and Ryan sit by the seashore, watching the sunset. It's less crowded now. We can hear the birds cry and sing. Adya and her new friend are building sand castles and the parents of the girl are watching them from a distance.
We sit closer to each other than usual. During these past months, we were already in that platonic bonding where this much closeness bothers less to me. To us. Or maybe because it's him, it's us.
As the environment gets hotter and everything starts getting red, we start to get hot and red as well. We lock each others'eyes. Our breathing gets heavy. The setting is too romantic and perfect for a kiss. A first kiss.
We are just friends. What am I thinking? But the tension? The hotness in the weather? In him? Between us?
He is as much affected as I am or maybe even more. It's beyond my control now, If he goes for it, I will go too without any questions further. But will he? Why would he? Is he affected only because I am someone from the opposite gender or is he affected because it's me? Oh God! This questions and confusions are killing me.
His eyes shifts from my eyes to my lips for a moment of mili second. I do the same. Heavy breathings and fast-loud heartbeats surround us. I can feel his minty breath from his mouth on my lower lips and chin. He can see I am affected as well and I don't care at this point, at the very moment. I want him to kiss me no matter the reason but I don't want to turn our pure friendship to something like friends with benefits as well. Please step back, I request him inside my head because I can't at this point but at the same time, I don't want him to step back either.
He slowly leans towards me tilting his face to his right side. Yes, it's happening. I don't care I am going for it. His eyes continuously shifting from my eyes to my lips and back. He is too tensed but he has never looked hotter. I can totally feel his heavy, warm and fresh breathe on my lips now. I tilt my face towards my right side too doing that same eye shifting thing as him. I lean towards him too. He leans further, still slow but faster compared to my speed. He parts his lips further and I close my eyes as I part my lips as well. I am too nervous. This is going to be my first kiss and as much as I know about him I am sure it's his first too. I wait for the kiss. I can feel our lips being just inches away. I sense him leaning further, our lips just about to touch each others'. Oh God! My heart is about to explode. Okay, we are going to kiss now.
"Big sister, big brother, Adya is back!"
My dearest Adya, I love you but why now? I cry inside my head.
I don't want any third person to break the tension between us anymore. We don't need any tension breaker anymore please.
~
So it happened. My chance to have a perfect romantic first kiss is totally ruined but as it was ruined by Adya, I will let it slide.
~
He clears his throat. Okay so he is tensed enough to do it finally. We don't look at each other. I give him a quick look and try to read him. He doesn't looks at me. He is more tensed, more shy and more affected than me and I am loving it, enjoying it way too much.
"Hey, you're back!" I say cutting whatever the hell was going on around us, between us. He doesn't say anything. He has never been this quiet, specially near Adya.
"Is everything alright, big brother?"
"Hah?" Ah, yes, everything is alright." He says, failing at giving her an assuring smile.
I enjoy it.
"If big brother says so", Adya smiles.
Even though I too feel shy and embarrassed, I want to laugh out an ugly laugh right now but I control myself. He finally notices. I heat up at his glance.
"Shall we leave?" I ask trying to hide my affection.
"Aah sure" he says.
"Yay, it's home time", Adya says as if she is really excited to go home.
I swear, I plan on officially getting all of her responsibilities from her aunt as soon as I get successful. I promise it to myself. It will take time I know but I will do it. I will make her my own little sister, daughter if required. Anything for her. I hardly do anything for her instead of giving her some quality time and some chocolates. I want to give her the world. She deserves it.
My mind shifts from Adya to Ryan and I go awkward again. Less than him though. The embarrassed and tensed him is alot cuter and attractive than I imagined him to be.
We leave. We are mostly quiet or awkward or acting during our way back.
After we see off Adya, I leave before we could even get any chance to talk. He doesn't stops me either. I don't look back today.