A Tourist in Mayberry

1/3) More from the Diary Journal: Darrell and Andy

Mount Airy Fact: Mount Airy was settled in the 1750's as a stagecoach stop.

Mayberry Fact: The TV series about the small town, called The Andy Griffith Show, ran from 1960-1968. There are 249 episodes still available for your viewing pleasure running on nostalgia loving TV stations all over the world.

Not only am I poor, my step-dad used to beat my mom when he drank. This was before, when I was young, before we escaped. He would still be beating her, even with a restraining order, but we ran. I know it is so cliché - stepfather drinks, beats mom. What an overtold, Lifetime movie of the week story, but, hey, this story is mine.

Darrell Goodson is my step-dad's name, and I do not miss the SOB one bit. He is a two-faced monster. My early plan was for him to wreck his car or go to prison, but no matter how many times he drove drunk, he never got put in jail for more than a night or two, and though he wrecked many times, he always walked away unscathed. He was a frustrating person to have around because Darrell was decent sometimes, but mean as hell most of the time, just when you thought he changed. He was a paradox.

One time Darrell was eluding the law and wiped out right at the foot of the driveway with a crash so loud it rocked our trailer. The wrecked car looked like you would expect a totaled car to look like and was still smoking when he crawled out the window. The deputy who followed his weaving car home said, "Damn Darrell. That is the damnedest thing I ever seen. You are damn lucky to be alive." Darrell grinned and bowed at the waist like he just performed the final solo at the Christmas cantata. The officer slow clapped and belly laughed before he pulled out his handcuffs and hauled Darrell off to a night in jail.

That was Darrell. He was hilarious and likable enough and could be quite the charmer. People liked him, and there were times I could not help but like and even love him too because he was the only dad I ever knew. It is difficult to still hate him, but I feel like I owe that much to my mom.

Mostly when I think about Darrell, I just feel pissed.

One day when my mom had enough, we ran to Mount Airy, NC, otherwise known as Mayberry from The Andy Griffith Show. I am not kidding, Andy Griffith was born here and most people here believe he based Mayberry on his hometown (I did tell you earlier that Aunt Bea was an ironic name for a real life person in my town). There is a statue of Andy and Opie going to the ol' fishing hole sitting in the middle of downtown where thousands of tourists visit each year (I am not kidding. Look it up on the internet). You can almost hear the whistling from the opening credits when you look at the statue in front of the Andy Griffith Playhouse. The playhouse, named in his honor, is where Andy first performed on stage when he was still in elementary school.

If you are downtown on a Saturday afternoon, you will see tourists taking selfies in front of Floyd's barbershop or Barney's restaurant and talking about "making a trip to Mount Pilot", which is actually called Pilot Mountain. The fans stand in line at the Snappy Lunch, listen to bluegrass music as they stroll, and go downtown to Wally's Service station in a 1960 Ford Galaxy sheriff's car as it swings by Andy's real old home place on the tour. If you sit there long enough and watch the visitors taking photos of things you see everyday, you start to think you're a tourist too, a tourist in your own hometown. It is what my mama calls surreal, which with her accent sounds like - "so real".

If you pay attention when you people watch, you notice other things. One thing I notice are teenagers who are dragged along on the family trip. They look bored and have expressions on their faces like - what's the big 'ol deal? They stare at the musicians playing music on the street in front of the historic Earle Theatre with their mouths open. Being a teenage tourist in Mayberry is a lot like being a teenager in the real world, you spend a lot of your time waiting for something to happen and thinking - somebody get me out of here.