A Tourist in Mayberry

6/4) Sheriff Nichols Questions Candi

Alliteration - several words in a row with the same first consonant or sound

Sheriff Nichols lucked up. He found Candi in the parking lot coming off her shift. The conversation went like this:

Sheriff Nichols: Hold up Candi. How are you doing? Do you mind if I talk to you a few minutes?

Candi: No sure, I don't mind. How are you Sheriff?

Sheriff Nichols: I am good. I hope you are.

Candi: Well, other than being exhausted, I'm doing great.

Sheriff Nichols: Do you mind if I ask you something?

And this is where my mom tidied her hair and smiled pretty and lowered her eyes to peer up at the Sheriff. He was a little too old for her, but she liked the Sheriff. It had been a long time, and she was flattered. She thought he was going to ask her out.

Candi: Why sure, Sheriff, what is it?

Sheriff Nichols: Can you tell me about your relationship to Mayor Booker?

Candi taken aback: Relationship? What? What did you say?

Sheriff Nichols: The mayor. I understood you worked for him for awhile.

Candi: I did, but I don't work for him anymore. He's a creep.

Sheriff Nichols: So, you did not end your employment with the mayor on good terms?

Candi: What are you implying Sheriff?

Sheriff Nichols: I'm just trying to get to the bottom of all this. I've been talking to people who spent time with the mayor in the last days he was seen, before he went missing. According to his secretary, you're one of the last ones to see him.

Candi: I worked for the mayor, I didn't spend time with him. That slimy pig of a mayor has more to worry about than me. From what I understand, he has a lot of enemies. Most more dangerous than his cleaning lady, and most more pissed off than I am. I hope you do find him cause when you do, I'm coming down to your office (she began to speak in sputters, she was mad and when she was that mad, she would choke up and cry), and I am coming to your office and pressing charges.

My mom turned and walked away leaving the Sheriff feeling quite poorly about his part in this interrogation. He knew a wronged woman when he saw one, and this wronged woman was mighty cute when she was mad.

Right before my mom got mad and walked away a cameraman from the News, who was stalking the sheriff and hiding in the trees at the edge of the parking lot, shot the photo that got picked up by the Associated Press and went national under the headline:

"Mayberry's Missing Mayor: Maybe the Maid Knows?"

My mom was furious. "I am not the mayor's maid," she said. "I am nobody's maid."

"That headline has quite the ring to it, Mom," I said, "Nice touch of alliteration." As a writer, I appreciated the effort. "Besides, you're famous."

My Mama did not appreciate her newfound fame.

It is not every day a mayor goes missing especially in a small town known as everyone's perfect small town full of charm and goodwill. Inside Edition, my favorite news program at the time, picked up the story. Hundreds of miles away, Nannie Jo, also a Deborah Norville and Inside Edition fan, saw the story.

Nannie Jo called Darrell. "Your missing wife's on the news. She done killed the Mayor of Mayberry. What you gonna do about it?"

"I don't know," said Darrell. "Me and Tabitha was getting ready to go out for some beers and nachos. It's free nacho night at the bar where she works. The nachos comes with all the jalapenos you can eat too."

"That does sound like some good eating, Darrell, but did you hear what I said? The woman who deserted you when you were still grieving your lost baby and stole my only granddaughter done went and killed the mayor of Mayberry. Whatcha gonna do about it? And besides, I thought you quit drinking. Why you going to a bar, and why are you taking my future grandbaby there? "

Darrell took a deep breath. "I did quit drinking and Tabitha ain't gonna do no drinking, just eating."

"Darrell, your real wife killed somebody. She deserted you. Are you going to let her get by with all that? Look the other way? What're you gonna do about it?"

After talking it over with Tabitha, Darrell dropped her off at the bar for some free nachos, gave her cab fare, and told her he'd be back in a few days and would call when he got there. Then, Darrell answered Nannie Jo's call and headed to Mount Airy. Nannie Jo thought he was going to confront his runaway wife, but his plan was atonement. Darrell was going to right some wrongs, some wrongs that had been troubling him for awhile. Darrell had found Jesus, Praise the Lord, and AA had found him.

Darrell headed to Mayberry to find Candi, work the steps, and ask for forgiveness.