A Tourist in Mayberry

2/3) Resident of Riverview Rehab, Room 144: Beatrice Livengood

The Mount Airy News, Surry Happenings, May 15th issue: Among the notices about upcoming Vacation Bible Schools and summer sports camps was:

"Please continue to pray for shut-ins including our own, Miss Beatrice Livengood who has been in the Riverview Rehab Unit since her fall during the unprecedented late ice storm in March. According to her brother, Charles, she is on the road to recovery and hopes to be home by the annual July 4th fireworks display at Veterans Park sponsored by the VFW."

Aunt Bea, not one to usually complain, was muttering to herself when her niece, Bernie Livengood dropped by to check on her.

"Oh honey, what is wrong?" asked Bernie who was as sweet as honey herself.

Aunt Bea replied with her usual candor, "Getting old is miserable. I'm way too young to be in this bed, and I have things I need to do at home. I'm ready to go home. And I am not a shut-in, no matter what the News says. For Heaven's sake, I was swimming laps at Reeves a month ago."

"Now Aunt Bea, the doctor says you need at least six more weeks of rehab and then he can release you. This will be just like the last time you were here before. You'll bounce right back and be back at home before you know it. You know it will be perfect because school will be over for the summer, and I can come stay with you or you can come stay with me," said Bernie.

"No need for that." Uncle Charles looked up from reading the newspaper to Aunt Bea. "Me and Rose Marie look after her perfectly fine."

"Now Uncle Charles, you know Rose Marie is getting ready to go visit her son," said Bernie, "and she can't keep the house clean and help Aunt Bea. She is not getting any younger either."

"It doesn't matter where I go home to because, by then, I'll be dead from the sheer volume of banality in this place." Aunt Bea rolled her eyes.

"Well, perfect because I am here to roll you over to the activity room in the retirement home. Doctor Jarrod said you needed to get out," replied Bernie.

"Well, just great," Aunt Bea said with not so hidden sarcasm, "I guess it is time for me to find me a husband. Might as well, it's been 15 days since Bill's been gone, or, wait, maybe we can find you one there."

Bernie Livengood smiled. She was an unmarried school teacher in a small town. She loved her Aunt Bea because she was usually the only person she knew who was not always trying to fix her up, though she was sure trying now.

Aunt Bea never married herself and lived with Charles in a big, lonely house on a farm outside the city limits in the White Plains community. Other than Charles and a continuous succession of dogs named Bill, most of her 82 years, Bea was alone.

She was not always alone. Beatrice was a retired, unmarried school teacher too and unbeknownst to most people, after a succession of suitors who never seemed quite right, she found love in her forties. It was a lover who spent the day thinking of ways to use everyday objects to please her. There was the deliciousness of skin on skin, but it was more than passion. There was romance and sweet notes and flirting when no one was looking. They went on adventures together, they both loved the outdoors. There was hiking, and rafting, and frolicking and rollicking and the occasional spelunking in the caves along the Ararat River. There were picnics in secret places where clothes came off before the last of the wine was gone. The everyday objects became less typical and more creative as making love became more about passion and surprise. The lovers became singularly focused on pleasing the other.

Unfortunately, Beatrice's only true love was a woman named Naomi who was somewhat of a gigolo, but at least knew how to let a lady down. Naomi said she found religion and wanted to protect Beatrice. Naomi was hesitant about exposing Beatrice in a public relationship. She did not want Beatrice labeled an abomination in a time when a label lost you your reputation and your job. Naomi left the small town and Aunt Bea and never looked back and never returned. Beatrice was heart-broken.

Ever the romantic and always a little nosy by nature, Aunt Beatrice spent most of her early 70's trying to find Naomi on the internet through her vast network on Facebook. All leads led nowhere. It was almost as if Naomi dropped off the face of the earth or didn't want to be found, or worse, maybe she died. But, even then, there would be a record. Maybe Naomi was not a Facebook person, Beatrice speculated, because some of her current friends were nervous around computers. Beatrice loved the internet and checked her own Facebook page several times a day. She could not understand why people her age were afraid of computers.

Though Aunt Beatrice tried to not pester her niece, Bernie, about finding love because she knew how it felt to be reminded by others you are alone and thus somehow wanting, she did know life was lonesome without someone to share it with. Aunt Bea, always discreet, was on the lookout for a man for her niece to cuddle up with late at night. Because she was picky about the particular man and the qualities he should possess, Aunt Bea almost overlooked him at first, though one of her favorite sayings was: "You can't judge a book by its cover."

Meanwhile, Bernie Livengood waited for her prince. While waiting, she kissed her share of toads. Most of them as comfortable and yet drab as an old, faded shirt. While considered a stupefying beauty, especially in her youth, Bernie was never too picky. But, she did want some passion, and mostly what she got over the years was clumsy, groping men who left her bored to oblivion. Most people believe a prince only comes in a handsome package, but Bernie knew that "pretty is as pretty does" was an accurate saying. She did not care about looks, she just wanted a little romance.

When she did not find the man of her dreams by 30, Bernie did not stop looking, no woman gives up entirely, but she did start to turn more of her attention to what made her happy - her students and her books. She felt there were different types of love, none more satisfying than romantic love, but many just as rewarding. Love, no matter the type, conquered all. Kind of an old-fashioned saying, but Bernie Livengood was a believer in all things related to love, old-fashioned or not.

Fortunately for Bernie, the fates favor love, especially if it's an improbable love story. This is how Bernie finally found her prince. The prince's name was William, and he was the janitor at Riverview Retirement Center.

William was not your usual prince.

Author's Note: There are a lot of actual places in this book, including the caves along the Ararat River. Though I lived by the river, I never saw these caves. My mother, who grew up in a different location on the river, played in these caves as a child. If you wish to find them these days, you may be able to because they sit just off the popular Granite City Greenway that runs along the river.