✅ Over Protected

22. Mum Shares her Suspicions

Not the chapter I expected to be posting... I was supposed to be posting My Sister's Problem today, but due to repeated panic attacks the chapter isn't ready yet. I hope you don't mind having this one instead. And I hope nobody is offended too much by Mum's confusion.

Right through dinner, I kept on trying to guess what Mum had done. Was Sarah going to pass out right after we ate, leaving me plenty of time to demand answers? Or had she decided to give me the stuff today, hoping that I wouldn't remember what had happened when I woke up? I didn't know which was more likely, or even which I would prefer. It was too easy to imagine myself waking up in a soaked Allnight, with Mum talking down to me like a baby. It was a hard image to shake, and I tried to tell myself that my heart was beating a little faster because I was scared.

I didn't feel any sleepier than usual after we'd eaten, and Sarah hurried up to her room to get her homework done. I hoped that she'd be able to finish it, and I said as much to Mum.

"I don't think she can have much left to do," she said. "She was planning to go out again this evening. Probably without telling me."

"You know she's trying to help her friends, right?" I said. "There's so many people depending on her, and she's trying to be responsible. How can you be so sure that you want to stop her? I think she'll end up losing the trust of her friends if you keep making her let people down."

"She wasn't going anywhere with her friends," Mum said with a sigh. "I saw the name in her planner again. Please, don't ask me any more. You're not old enough to think about that stuff yet." I nodded, and tried to think back. Trying to remember the last time Mum had got all upset about Sarah going out. It was almost a month ago; minus a couple of days.

"Mum, we have classes in school. Health and social education. Remember? I bet the name in her planner is Scott Bluish, right? And I think I know enough to understand. More than any of his friends in school, anyway. Are you really just trying to make things harder for him? I thought there was something you're worried about. If you just... disapprove or something? I don't know if I can trust you anymore. And I think Sarah needs to know if you're trying to hurt somebody who relies on her."

"Do you really know what they're planning to do tonight?" she asked. "Because I can't believe you would approve so easily. She's still a child, she isn't old enough to..."

"To go shopping for a friend who's terrified of anybody else seeing what he's buying?" I asked.

"Is that what she told you? No, you're not old enough to understand. They're..." And she couldn't even bring herself to finish the sentence. She really did think I was a little kid in some ways, and she didn't even want to talk about it.

"You think they're having sex?" I guessed. "I'm pretty sure they're not. And even if they were, it doesn't hurt you. It doesn't hurt her. Not enough to justify what you've been doing."

"Look, Alice," she said, and I knew she was going to be talking down to me again. "You're not old enough to understand these things properly. I thought you... I wouldn't expect you to know about feelings like that. But you've had your HSE classes, right? And you know there's consequences. Even if you know the facts, you don't understand that teenagers often... aren't as careful as they should be. They do things without thinking, because of all the hormones. You don't know how it can feel, so you expect Sarah to be as rational as you are."

"She's being more rational than you," I said. "And it's pretty clear that you don't know all the facts. You don't know Scott at all, do you? He's just a name in Sarah's calendar, somebody you've never met. I mean... I never guessed until Sarah told me. But now I know, I can see it. I wish I couldn't, and I hope it gets easier for him to keep his secret, but... I can see enough to know it's true. And I know that even if she's not telling me anything about her feelings, or if they have a relationship beyond being a confidante, that's still not enough to justify..." I gestured towards the pile of dishes that Mum was just starting to wash after dinner; hoping to signify the drugs without saying it aloud.