✅ Over Protected

35. Babies Learn Words

This bonus chapter is dedicated to Clinton, with thanks for your ongoing support!

"Baaba!" I said, and giggled with pride as I realised what they wanted. I couldn't quite remember a word as complex as 'book', but I was starting to understand that the pretty colours on the TV screen meant something, and I could kind of follow the story. The grown-ups around me praised me for being so clever, and I thought this must be the greatest thing I had ever done.

My thoughts came back slowly, but I carried on feeling really proud and excited by every new thing I could do. We were watching a completely different cartoon by the time I started to understand real words again, and another one before I realised that the drugs in the Princess diapers were starting to fade. I'd worn them to sleep before, so I knew how fuzzy my head could be when I woke up wet in them. They were probably the strongest ones for turning off my thoughts. Mummy had told me before that if I wanted to stop thinking, I could just wet myself while I was awake. And she had told me that it would be stronger for the first half hour. But this was the first time I'd actually felt that. I hadn't known who I was, or where I was, for more than an hour; and it was bliss. I could just watch cartoons and be excited about the moving shapes, my thoughts too muddled to understand the story or even what the pictures were supposed to show.

As my thoughts started to come back, I looked around and saw that I was cuddled up next to Lyra, in a blanket fort on the floor. She was smiling and giggling as well, fascinated by the pictures on the screen. But when she noticed that I was looking at her, she turned to look back.

"Ohh, are you back baby?" she laughed. "Mummy! Alice is growing up again!"

"Ohh, that's good," Melania was the one to answer. "Are you okay Alice? Are you feeling better?"

I thought about it for a second, but I couldn't put together the words for a response. At that point I was dimly aware that I was a big girl, and I could remember all my thoughts going away, but I was still a little confused about what had happened. My memories and understanding were coming back in bits and pieces, so every deduction vanished as soon as I had thought about it. But I knew that everything was in my head somewhere, so I didn't need to worry about putting more than two thoughts together at the same time. Not right now.

I shifted position, and felt something else that got my attention right away, and reminded me a little more about what had happened. Yes; I was in Babij Princess diapers, and the bulk of the soaked padding was squishing around under my bum. That was why I felt so much like a little baby. And I felt so good that I could work that out; I wanted to share with everyone, to let them know how smart I was. But even if I understood what was happening, which I didn't really, finding the words was still tough in the confused fog that was my mind right now. But when I found the right words, I was delighted to say them.

"I did a wee!" I exclaimed. That was the important thing, and I'd realised it all by myself.

"You did," Lyra said, just as cheerful. "You're a little baby! You didn't talk for ages and ages!" I didn't tell her that I could see how wet her diaper was as well; she must have wet again after Mummy put her in a diaper. But I knew she was embarrassed, and I didn't want her to feel bad.

Then we'd said just about everything that needed to be said, so we turned back to the TV screen. We watched a lot before I spoke again, managing to put two words together so I could say "This is nice." Lyra giggled again, and said something about how I was a tiny baby so everything was fun. She was trying to be a big girl, I thought. And that was the end of that thought; I didn't need to explore it any further.

By the time the episode had ended, I felt like I might be starting to get back to normal.

"I went all fuzzy," I mumbled to Lyra. "It was nice."

"Your brain went off," she said. "You were like a baby. It made you wet your diaper."

"I know," I said, looking down. I was pretty sure that the wet diaper had come first, and the Princesses made me go dumb when I was wet. But Lyra didn't need to know that, and why did it even matter? It was still a lot of fun, and that was all we needed to know.

We kept on watching the screen, singing along with the different animal characters. One cartoon started to blur into the next, and I realised I wasn't smart enough to know which characters were in which story, but that didn't matter. If it was Bibi Babi Miko, or Paradise Pen, or even Project D.I.N.O., I could still enjoy any little jokes that I managed to pick up on, and feel so smart when I actually understood what somebody was saying.

It was quite a while before I realised that Lyra had been looking after me, playing the big sister and putting my sippy cup back in reach whenever I dropped it. And by that point, I could remember that I was supposed to feel a little bad about that. She was just as little as me, and she shouldn't have to look after the baby. Not when I'd come here today to comfort her and check on her.

"Sorry," I mumbled, when most of our Mummies were out of the room in between cartoons. I got the impression that we would be going home soon, so I wanted to say something.

"What for?" she asked. "You're a cute baby!"

"Maybe," I said, blushing brighter than I ever had before. "But you were looking after me. I love how it feels when all my worries just go away, and somebody's there to do everything for me. But I don't want to make you do all the extra work, when we're the same age. You should have fun too."

"It was fun..." she said, and I could tell there was a "but" that she didn't want to say aloud on the end of that sentence.

"That's good then?" I said.

"But it's a little bit scary. I've got all fuzzy in the head, but I've never been that dumb before. It's like you couldn't even talk. Am I going to be like that too?"

"You were..." I started, and realised that there was a relevant memory I couldn't quite reach. "There was one time that Nathan boy said you couldn't talk?"

"Ssssh!" Lyra said, and I felt guilty for mentioning it. That had been when Lyra had been experimenting with drugs, and had persuaded an older boy to try something with her. She'd said it was a good experience, even if she was non-verbal. But of course, she didn't want her family to hear about that one. "I think I know when you mean, but I don't wanna remember that. I'm not big enough for that stuff yet. So..."

"So maybe sometimes you can't talk," I said with a shrug. "And if it's like I was then, you won't even notice until the end. I mean, it's like I was fascinated by the shapes on the TV screen, all the dancing colours, and I didn't even realise they were characters for most of it. They were just moving shapes, and that was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. You can't worry about not knowing something if you don't know it's there."

"That's still scary," she said. "But kind of exciting too. Thank you. I mean maybe I wouldn't have known that was coming if I was just by myself. But now I know it might happen, and I know it's fun too. And you're so cute when you're a baby! It's like having a lifesize doll to play with, I was having fun too. Until... Well maybe I went a bit fuzzy too. But that's no worries. You're right, the cartoons are loads better if you can't think too much about them. Thank you."

"Thank you," I told her. "I thought I was going to go through this alone, and then you're here, and... It's good having a friend."

"Yeah," she said with a smile. "I'm kind of glad it happened to you. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No," I said. "You're a good girl. So now you saw how real it can get, are you scared? Would you snatch at a cure if there was one on offer?" I played those words through in my head three or four times before I said them. I didn't want to give her a hint just because I wasn't thinking right.

"I don't know," she said. "If you're doing this, I'm happy I'm here for you. Together. So maybe I wouldn't, unless I was on my own and it was super scary or something. Maybe..." Lyra paused, and broke down in laughter for a few seconds. And somehow, I couldn't help laughing along with her even when I didn't know what the joke was. It was so easy to get carried away right now.

"Mummy keeps saying..." she started, before the giggles overcame her. And then she carried on: "Mummy kept saying I need to grow up. I never grew up properly. Well now, I've got a Mummy and Daddy and extra mummies too, so maybe this time I can grow up right. Won't that be cool?"