42. Penny Gets a Treat

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This chapter is dedicated to Santoro. Thank you for all your support!


It wasn't long before Lyra's family filed out, and it was just me, Lyra, and Penny. Mummy was talking to Melania in the hallway, but quietly so we couldn't hear. I guessed that she was keeping an ear on our conversation as well, paying close attention to the babies. But I thought she was going to let us do whatever we wanted so long as we didn't make any trouble.

"I get lonely sometimes," Lyra said, blushing a little. "I'm glad I could see you. Is it the same for you?"

I guessed the last question was for me; Penny had come round to help babysit for Lyra a few times, but as far as I knew she hadn't been able to talk to Lyra about what she wanted yet. Mummy had told her already that it wasn't good for Lyra to know that there was any drug-related part of her condition, because we didn't want her to blame her family. But I hoped that we could find a way to make everybody happy today.

"I had fun at school today. I couldn't understand all the stuff we were teaching, and I think Mr Woodward was laughing, but I keep trying. I might have to give up school if I can't understand stuff. But it's still nice trying." And then I realised that Lyra had never had an accident at school, so far as I knew. We'd never seen her going all baby-brain, or getting confused in class. Her parents had taken her out of school before she even knew how she would end up feeling, and I wondered what that would be like.

"You got friends?"

"They mostly laugh at her," Penny said, and I knew she was right. "People don't understand. I think you're probably... You know? You wanted to be in charge, and have everybody respect you. I think you would really have hated it if you'd kept going long enough to find out how mean our friends can be."

"I think she's right," I said. "Even Gwen is like really mean to me. Telling me she doesn't want to play with a baby. I don't mind, because I wanted this to happen. And I think enjoying all the cartoons again, and playing with dollies without thinking too much, is worth it. But you cared more about what your friends think, so you probably wouldn't have liked it so much. You're safe."

"Yeah," Lyra said with a little smile. "And there's always the grown-ups looking out for me. It's not that bad, but it's lonely sometimes. I wish I had more friends who'd come to visit. But I'm really happy about coming to see you. It feels like forever since I went anywhere. And I'm not even too... you know... today, so I could probably be out or something if I wanted to."

"Oh, that's cool!" I said. "So what would you be doing?"

"I don't know. Playing in the park, maybe? I kind of... I don't know if this happened because of the naughty stuff I did, so maybe it's better if I try to be good."

"I think so," I mumbled, and I felt a wave of guilt for just a moment. That was exactly what her parents had wanted her to feel, and I knew that it would be good for her in the long run. But I felt bad about letting it happen when I knew the truth. Still, if there was any way I could make this more fun for her, it had to be a good thing. Better than causing so much trouble.

"Hey!" Lyra said, a little grin forming. "If you go all fuzzy before me, maybe I can be the babysitter today. I can be the big one today, that would be fun."

"Yeah!" I said. "Mummy might need help. Specially if there's more than one baby." And then I realised I'd gotten ahead of myself a little bit. "I mean... Wow, how do I say this?"

"Are we allowed to say?" Penny said. "I think I know what you mean, but it's not good to make anybody feel bad. Like..."

"No, I think we got it," I said. "I talked to Lyra before, kind of. About how there was a special treatment that only works if you catch the syndrome early. And I told Mummy I didn't want to because I want to know how this feels."

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