Yes, I know. It's been well-awaited on my part and I've held back but I've decided that this is inevitable so here you go. It's mostly fem, sorry I know, I find it really hard to write as anything else, I really do apologise. However, I hope you enj...
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I rolled around in the wide expanse of the double bed, a horrible feeling washing over me. He was gone. I sat up abruptly, knowing this was definitely my fault. "David!" I called, my thoughts spinning around my brain at 1000 miles per hour. No answer. 'Fuck.' I cursed under my breath, coming to terms with the fact I might have royally fucked this up.
I jumped out of bed and pulled on some clothes. My instinct was to check if he had left any clothes behind. As I opened his side of the wardrobe, my heart sank in my chest. Nothing. I felt a few tears slide down my face as I closed the doors. I padded into the kitchen, my heart leaping in my chest when I saw him sitting on the balcony with his cases.
I practically fell onto the balcony because my legs couldn't keep up with my brain. He looked at me, eyes scanning every fibre of my being. I was a trembling mess, tears staining my already red and blotchy face. "David. I know I fucked up and I am so, so fucking sorry." I cried, my legs threatening to give way beneath me. I couldn't lose him. At least not like this. Not under these circumstances.
[THE NIGHT BEFORE]
"WELL FUCK YOU THEN!" I shouted, slamming the door in his face. I was upset... I had accused him of sleeping with another girl and just wholly being an asshole. "Y/N, let's talk about this." He said through the closed door, trying to be reasonable with me. It obviously wasn't in my best interest to be reasonable so I snapped back. "TALK ABOUT WHAT?" I sobbed, my voice breaking into the pillow I hugged to my chest.
David came into the room, eyes red from where he too had been crying. He hated it when we fought, especially when they were cocaine fuelled fights where neither party had a rational head. In this instance, I was both stoned on coke and blackout drunk. I had had a rough day and that was a great way to escape from it until shit hit the fan with David.
"Don't lie to me you bastard, I saw you snogging that bitch." I slurred, throwing a feeble punch at him. His brows knitted together in a frown, his expression changing from one of reason to one of offence. "Well, if we're playing it that way Y/N, sure. I kissed Hermione and I only did it because you've been a right bitch lately and at least she has the fucking decency to ask me how my day's been or even how I am feeling. You never do that because you're a self-obsessed whore." He spat, the words cutting me like knives.
I took a few steps back, falling onto the bed. "What the fuck did you just call me?" I asked, trying to clarify what he had said. "You heard me. I called you a self-obsessed whore." He repeated, adding more spite to the word 'whore'. I felt more fat tears roll down my face, pure rage seeping from my core.
[PRESENT DAY]
"We both said some shitty things. I know and I am so sorry. I know I have fucked up but I can't lose you, David. I want you to forgive me but I understand if that's too hard for you. I want you to know that I have forgiven you because I have realised that this is entirely my fault and I hold my hands up in the ownership of that." I stammered, knees shaking uncontrollably.
He looked at me in shock that I was admitting this. He looked away for a minute, contemplating what to say next. "Fuck this." He said, shooting up from his chair. The way he did so made me flinch because it had so much power behind it. "Kiss me before I change my mind." He demanded, arms tight around my waist. My lips met his with undescribed fervour, his tongue asking for admission to my mouth. I granted him what he wanted, his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth.
"Fuck. I knew I couldn't leave you, as much as I did think about it." He sighed, brushing the loose strands of hair in my face away from my eyes. The last words stung a little because they confirmed that he was going to leave me. "How are you feeling my love?" I asked, knowing it probably wasn't the safest question to ask right now. "Better once I have a shower and eat some food." He replied, taking a step back. He still needed time to get over what had happened and so did I so I left him be.
If that's an experience I never have to deal with again, I would not mind a single bit because that was the single hardest moment of my life, fearful that I could lose the one man I cared so deeply for because I was too self-centred. I vowed to myself I was going to change and that started now
